No, good morning.
No, how are you, darling?
Nothing.
This woman is as cold as the damn roof last night. But the joke’s on her because I got marriedexactlyhow I wanted to.
My mother and father even suggested a smaller wedding, but Catherine wouldn’t even consider it with my father’s heart condition. He has CHF—congestive heart failure—which makes him tire out easily and he can’t stand or sit upright for long periods of time. Plus, travelling is too risky and not something I wouldeverwant him to do for me.
Bobby and I hired of videographer to tape our wedding.
However, with last night, not only would it have not been appropriate with what we did afterward but I completely forgot about it.
Not that my parents would ride me about it like Catherine will when she discovers Bobby and I did our own thing.
CATHERINE: We have the final cake testing at noon. I’ll send a car to pick you up.
CATHERINE: Final dress fitting at two.
CATHERINE: Make-up at three.
CATHERINE: Did you have Bobby’s ring cleaned again? It needs to be perfect.
CATHERINE: Rehearsal dinner is at six. You’ll need to change. I’ll have Sandra bring your dress so you don’t have torun back home.
CATHERINE: Meirna, answer your phone. We have a busy day, and I need you on it.
Well, I don’t need to call the priest to confirm Saturday because I’m already married.
And, I’ve already told her Bobby’s and my cake selections, I don’t know why we need to test them out again.
I don’t need a car to pick me up; I know how to drive, and she knows this.
Bobby’s ring doesn’t need to be cleaned again because there’s nothing wrong with it. That’s ridiculous.
Her assistant, Sandra doesn’t need to bring me anything to the rehearsal dinner because there’s isn’t a need for one.
And, no, I won’t answer the phone because I’m not doing any of this anymore.
I’d love to leave the news of our secret wedding in Bobby’s hands, but…that may fall on me, and the utter rage this woman will have when her hundred grand wedding is suddenly called off.
Sighing, I pull my texts up with Bobby and can’t help but smile even though his mother is driving me up a wall.
MEIRNA: Hello, husband. <3 Your mother is calling/texting me. Help.
It doesn’t take but a second for him to respond.
BOBBY: Good morning, beautiful.
BOBBY: What could she possibly need now? I swear she runs on people’s annoyance and lack of fucks.
MEIRNA: To go over everything we’ve planned for the wedding again.
MEIRNA: We’re not still doing this, are we?
BOBBY: LOL.
BOBBY: I’m afraid so, babe. She’ll lose her shit. And I need to see you walk down that aisle for all my family and friends to see.
