My eyes clench with the onslaught of threatening tears. I lost them both in the same year.
Within weeks.
“He told me I was too scrawny,” Cairo quips through my silence. “I remember wondering who the hell he was when he came to visit my dad one time. He said I was going to be in for one hell of a time. I just didn’t think he meant you.”
I rock my head back and forth. “He didn’t. You wouldn’t have made it a mile in my direction if he didn’t stroke out.”
“Then he shouldn’t have blatantly said your name. Because, even at seventeen, I was intrigued as fuck. Though, I had already met you before, hadn’t I?”
I nestle—yes,nestle—closer to him, welcoming his warmth and hard muscles. “Best night of your life.”
“I definitely looked for you again the next time I got locked up.”
Begrudgingly, I glance up at him from my temporary safe space. “You got locked up again?”
“I bet I’d give Wallace a run for his money with the number of times.”
I smile at him and go back to my sanctuary of his body. “You’re wrong. He was too good to get caught. You suck at this game.”
THIRTEEN
bay
Cairo meant well,he did.
But I can stillsmellhim in here.
My fingers rub along the leather steering wheel of Levi’s black Malibu, gripping it to death because he touched it only days ago.
I want to believe he’s here.
I’d love to imagine his massive body in the passenger seat, bullshitting and looking for a cheap race to win some easy cash. I wish I could smell the weed coming from his side of the car instead of mine.
But I’m alone here.
Alone because I didn’t want anyone else near me. Solo because I just wanted this moment to myself so tomorrow I can finally bury my best friend and take one last look at him.
I don’t stop the tears that freely fall from my eyes. Nor can I halt the harsh twist in my gut that feels like it’ll never untie.
I’m not sure how I’m going to survive this long-term. Each hour that passes gnaws at every single ounce of self-control I have. I thought today wouldn’t be so fucking bad. It was a cruise; I’ve been to a hundred of them in my lifetime, and it’d be something to take my mind off shit.
But this one is obviously different.
This particular one is to celebrate the life and death of the King of South Shore. A beloved leader in this town. A man who worked his ass off to bring money to the families who have none. One who has protected me, my sisters, and Dad.
And the best friend I will never have again.
Every dream and joke of us growing old together, tripping each other with our canes, or running each other’s foot over with our wheelchairs are painful deceptions of how naive I believed our lives to be.
Even with Dad, I still considered Levi to be immortal.
No one could touch him.
No one would dare touch him.
Except one.
And he’s the one I will hunt down for the rest of my days until he’s torn apart, bled out, and no longer a fucking conversation or thought I need to have.
