Levi shakes me once, rough enough to make the last word disappear from my throat altogether.
“Stopbeing a Debbie fucking Downer, Astor. Have I ever let you down, yet?”
Short answer, no.
However, that still doesn’t stop everything.
Not the dread boiling in my veins. The sharp twists in my gut tightening with each passing second.
And all the words I never said.
Tohim.
Torin and I are so unresolved if he doesn’t get through this, it’s always going to bother me. I’m never going to get over it. I can’t say I’d be shocked by the feat. Of any man I’ve ever met in my life, Torin Wildes would be the petty asshole that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
At the time, it was all we had. I wasn’t in a rush to go back and have to meddle through my emotions.
I didn’t have to forgive him.
I didn’t have to punch him.
I didn’t have to do anything.
But now…now everything hangs in the balance, and I don’t like being in this spot. I don’t like being held by a man who hates him and is trying to console me. Who would do anything for me because I want it when he would more than likely let Torin go.
I’m unworthy of such loyalty.
I would love to pretend things weren’t the way they are. That I’m not throwing these boys in some weird-ass group to accept each other because we can’t stay away.
Levi is trying.
I’m breaking.
And neither one of us is going to let this go.
“I need to break my vow,” I force from my lips. “I have to get him back.”
He glowers at me and abruptly releases me, taking a well-needed step back for his own sanity probably. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Levi—”
“Do you love me as much as him to trust me, or no? Let me know so I have the full spectrum of where we stand.”
I shake my head. “It’s not even remotely close to that. It has nothing to do with loving someone more?—”
“If you love me, you’ll trust me. I’m not going to let you down.”
I do trust him.
With everything.
But he can’t control fate and other people’s actions. He can’t give me Torin’s life on a silver platter when he’s not in control of the narrative.
“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” I emit evenly. “Not just as friends but as someone who’s always beenmine.”
His lips part with, I’m sure, a retort, but I quickly cut in.
“However, you can’t predict what Matteo is going to do. What he’ll try to accomplish with the only thing he knows I’d give anything for.”
