Which I ignore on the way out of my bedroom door because fuck that a hundred times over.
Padding down the hallway barefoot, I find Torin sitting on the sectional couch, legs crossed with a book in his lap. His back is to me, so I’m able to stare at him for a moment, uninterrupted, when I notice Kona and Koda lying on the floor together, staring up at me, but they don’t come to greet me.
I don’t understand why we bother, to be honest.
Normally, bad breakups and sellouts would be terms of treason in our world. However, neither of us can fully fuck off the other.
I’m on an entirely different level with Torin than I am with anyone else, even Levi. When the whole drive-by went down, I stillfelthim. I knew his stubbornness would pump through his veins and stay here to annoy me again.
With the way Cairo wasn’t bothered, it made perfect sense to me.
Levi, no matter how hard he tries, can’t fully ring me in. Torin can’t either. However, he understands my level of hardball because he plays in the same league.
It’s like going up against yourself.
Just in male form.
“Did you need something, Wildfire?” His voice is this deep octave that hints he hasn’t spoken in a while and may need to clear his throat.
However, Torin doesn’t turn around to look at me, giving me the peace I need to walk through my own house.
If you want to call it that.
“No,” I deadpan, even though I want to ask him where he has Matteo, what condition he’s in, what has he done already, and so on and so forth.
However, I’m not supposed to know that information yet.
So I remain silent.
“Did you need some aspirin?”
That’d be sweet if I didn’t want to take the lamp next to his head and bang him upside it with said object.
“I’m fine.”
Torin snaps his fingers, and Kona and Koda both rise to their feet, prancing over with all their damn furry cuteness. I’m unable tonotpet them, running my fingers through their fur and receiving licks in return.
My thoughts run to how they would protect a baby. Having little feet hitting the hardwood floors. Little coos and chuckles filling the house while Ellie and Mae love up on them.
You don’t deserve that sort of happiness.
You murdered Nessa, and now you want a child?
Mindlessly, I step away from Torin’s dogs. The Karma that just battered me upside the head reminds me how much of a bitch it is because it’s true.
Why should I have something when all I’ve done is take and destroy?
My throat tightly closes up as I feel my heartbeat increase at a rapid pace with my breathing.
I killed someone else.
I did all this.
My palm falls to my empty belly while nausea works its way up my throat. I can’t think of anything else but the severe cramping and the white-haired doctor barking out orders to help with all the blood.
“She’s losing the baby, Meredith. Get me more towels.”
Towels.
