“I think that trying to go for him is like a gold rush, the second everyone knows of him or catches a glimpse it’s over. They’re smitten, just as I am, and when everyone’s vying for hisaffections I will always be doomed to get the short end of the stick. When it comes to drawing straws for him, I lose then too.”
Longing after Wynter Andy Kwon in secret felt like reaching for a dandelion in the breeze, it was not mine to acquire, it belongs to the earth and everything in it. It was like trying to find a bright red poppy in a field of evergreen grass, like trying to drink the ocean with nothing but a wooden straw. It wasimpossible, but it was this very impossibility that had me so encapsulated by the idea of him. Of someday being close to him.
We lay there in silence for a while, the weight of her words settling around us. I wanted to tell her that things would get better, that maybe Hannah would surprise her, or that one day, she’d find someone who wouldchooseher, no matter what. But all I could do was hold her hand and promise her that I’d be here, no matter what happened.
We stayed like that, imagining a world where she could be herself without fear, and I wasn't committing the ultimate act of betrayal by falling for her brother.
It was a pool day the day that Hannah decided to wreak havoc.
I watched as Wynter made his way out of the water, his skin honeyed from the harshness of the summer sun—it was nothing compared to the ivory. It was at the start. The droplets cascaded down his body, and I tried my best not to gawk at him, and how unbelievable he looked. The summer was different. His jawline was sharper, his shoulders brother. He wasnota boy anymore and would never be again.
I looked away, trying to compose myself, but Hannah was clearly watching him too, an amused smirk spreading across her lips. She wore a sunset orange Victoria’s Secret bikini with rhinestones she kept raving about that she apparently got on a trip to Italy earlier that year. She spoke about how for her seventeenth she tasted way more than just mimosas across Europe—that she’d adopted a taste for the boys too.
“Wow,” she drooled, not bothering to hide her fascination. “Wynter's quite the sight, isn’t he? He’s so hot.”
I bit my lip, wishing she’d stop talking, but she wasn’t even close to done. Hannah leaned back on her lounge chair, taking a slow sip of her iced tea as if she owned the place. “I mean, you know, some guys our age still look like boys,” she said, her voice dripping with that false sense of wisdom she always used to make herself sound older. “But Wynter…he’s on another level. Definitelyboyfriendmaterial.”
“You’ve never even had a boyfriend that lasted more than two weeks, Han,” Sydney groaned.
“Yeah well maybe I’ve had a change of heart…” She pouted then glanced back at Wynter looking him up and down like he was her next meal.
Sydney snickered, tossing me a sympathetic look. “You’re just saying that because he’s competing in the Olympics and you want a shiny new trophy, also he’s tall and doesn’t slouch like the rest of them.”
“No, I’m saying that because he’s confident,” Hannah replied, rolling her eyes. “Confidence is everything. Boys our age don’t have that. They have no idea who they are and aren’t self-assured. Wynter haspresence—he’s not trying to impress anyone. That’s what’s so… mature and hot about him. Honestly, I bet he’d be amazing to date.”
I shifted uncomfortably, hoping the heat in my cheeks didn’t give me away. Hannah tilted her head, watching him with aknowing smile, like she already had him all figured out, like she thought she could see things in him no one else could.
And all I could think was: Jiwon was right, this girl thinks only of herself and what she can take. Or maybe that was the envy screaming.
“He’s single, right?” she asked, barely glancing at me. “We should find out.” Without waiting, she nudged Sydney. “Ask Cahya if Wynter’s seeing anyone. Or…if he’s interested.”
Sydney called over to Cahya, who came over, grinning as he wiped pool water from his face. “What’s up?” he asked, squatting down as Sydney grinned back.
“Does Wynter have a girlfriend?” she asked, lowering her sunglasses and quirking an eyebrow.
“Woah, Syd, and here I thought you and Jax—”
“This isn’t for me jackass. I’m asking for a friend. Just be honest before she gets her hopes up, yeah?” Syd suggested.
Cahya laughed, glancing back at Wynter, who was now floating lazily on his back, his toned body in full view, eyes closed. “Nah, Wynter’s single,” Cahya replied easily. “But he’s private about that stuff. He doesn’t really talk about dating or girls. Keeps it to himself.”
“Oh, that’s so cute!” Hannah chuckled. “God, would you look at that face, that body, it all belongs on the cover ofVogue.”
“Woah there, tiger.” Sydney gagged. “Spare us.”
“I get the sense I should leave now—but yeah, he’s not seeing anyone so you can tell your friend that last I checked,” Cahya sighed, standing up, “he’s fair game.”
“Game is game.” Hannah smiled as Cahya nodded then dived back beneath, the still blue splashing us all.
“Cahya, you ass!” I groaned, chlorine all over my copy ofThe Night Circus. I glanced down at my strawberry print bathing suit, maybe it was too childish, maybe that was why Wynter didn’t look at me?
Hannah’s eyes glinted, and she gave an exaggerated, mock-sigh of satisfaction. “Interesting. Very interesting. Makes you wonder…” she leaned in closer to Sydney, voice dropping but loud enough for me to hear, “do you think he’s a virgin?”
“He’s a seventeen-year-old boy with the face of a Greek god, plus he said he’s kissed three girls already. Idoubtit,” Sydney mentioned.
“Nah he has this look in his eye that I can’t quite explain…” Hannah contemplated,
“What look?” I scoffed,
