“Because you’re Yesoh and you always do what you’ve done before, routine is just who you are I guess,” he expressed to me, “you never change, that’s what I love about you, silly.”
“I never change?” I wondered, glancing back at the window, taking a sip from the lukewarm coffee cup the flight attendant had brought along earlier—it was the same iced americano I’d been drinking since I was old enough that my parents wouldn’t scold me over my caffeine consumption.
I glanced down and wrapped my arms around the exact same sweater I’d been wearing since high school, I’d bought it at a Sunday market during my sixteenth summer in Waverly Peak. It was a blue knitted one I’d spent no less than a couple dollars on, and yet I cling to it for dear life. Unfortunately for many, I come from a rare collective of human beings on this earth who have never learned how to move on from anything a day in their lives. We are the people who remain frozen in time, watching raindrops cascade down the window sills till our skin wrinkles and hair turns gray. I wear the same white gold ring on my pinkie, the number seventeen engraved into the metal, in the exact manner that the meaning etched itself into my bones, the permanence defining itself into my marrow. Memories of that very last summer.
I glanced back towards the window, pressing my hand against the glass and taking a deep breath. “Twenty-eight.”
“Hm?” Soleh wondered, taking off his headphones again at the sound of my voice.
“The answer is twenty-eight, I counted them the very instance we took flight,” I assured him, he smiled, and this time it was he who shook his head at me.
Perhaps he was right, perhaps everyone was. Maybe I never have moved on from anything, maybe I am predictable. Maybe I never will change.
The very instant we arrived the cool autumn air enveloped me, the Lincoln Center and the area surrounding it was finally freeing itself from the throws of summer and whispers of spring. The leaves were browning, crisp and turning orange. I knew then, that it was true, that it was no longer summer, but rising autumn. No longer hot but not so cold, not so much the beginning but the end of something—that within itself was certain.
I glanced around me at the scene, hundreds of scattered students I’d recognized around campus, saying goodbye to their families, and a flurry of band kids buying new instruments. The scene was lively and almost picturesque. It was difficult for me to believe that I was indeed a part of that, a part of all of it—I didn’t know it then but I would somehow find myself at the very centre of it all.
I must confess something. As those of my kind rarely do, nevertheless I must tell you, because I fear that perhaps we may encounter a misunderstanding.
This is not the story about the girl in front of the flashing lights, the one who poses and automatically attracts others to be in the photograph with her, this story is about the girl behind the camera. The one about the supporting side character, the one that exists solely for the purpose of comedic relief or a sob story of some sort. My friends are far more interesting than I, my family perhaps far more deserving to have your undivided attention at this moment, they deserve to have their stories told too… And yet, I was chosen.
Ironic, isn’t it? Perhaps it’s all about perspective, perhaps just as the police believed I see things that nobody else sees.
I felt someone’s hand covering my eyes and my senses immediately caught the sweet scent of that all-too-familiar vanilla perfume, I heard the rattling of the bracelets she nevertook off on her left wrist, and before I even turned around I knew it could only be her.
“You’re here super early, Syd.” I spun around and was greeted with the biggest smile I’d ever seen. She’d gotten her braces out a year ago and it really paid off. "Where’s the ball and chain?”
“Oh you mean Jax? He dropped me off a while ago, he’s giving his cousin a tour of the NYU campus today,” she explained to me. She wore a white cashmere sweater and Old Navy jeans, you wouldn’t know her family was one of the wealthiest in the country if you didn’t observe her close enough.
Because if you did, you’d see the blue diamonds on her earlobes, the white gold clip holding up her honey blonde hair, the array of Cartier bracelets, and the Tiffany’s necklace around her neck her father had gifted her last Wednesday ’just for the thrill of it’, just because he was grateful for her existence. And if I was being honest with myself, if any girl in the world deserved to be showered with presents and diamonds for this year, for the sake of it, I was glad it was Sydney.
“I’m stuck with you now huh?” I mused, shaking my head, still playing difficult just because I missed her.
“Aren’t you always? Won’t you always be?” she reckoned as I held her hands and tilted my head. She smiled at me, bright and cheerfully, and even though I resisted, I ended up doing the same. Sydney had the kind of smile that was infectious, it made you want to feel as she did, to be as happy as she was.
“Of course I will.” I rolled my eyes as she pulled me into a warm hug. Then I paused as I remembered we’d forgotten to register last month for our accommodation. “Are we roommates again this year?”
“Oh yeah about that…” she hissed, sucking in a sharp breath.
“Oh no…” I anticipated recalling the previous time we’d forgotten to register early and I had to room with Rebecca Shirley, the girl who had two pet hamsters who’d spin on theirwheels all night and I’d lose sleep over it. “I refuse to experience season two of the hamster nightmare all over again. I’m not built for that struggle!”
“Oh God forbid, friend, we’re not ever letting that happen.” Sydney reassured me by placing both hands on my shoulders. “I must admit though, this time we really were too late and missed out on securing our room on the second-year campus. However…Daddy talked to the school and managed to get us a studio in the fourth-year dorms.”
“Fourth year?” I gasped my eyes going wide in surprise, I pulled her aside immediately as if she’d just bespoke blasphemy. “Sydney, that’s crazy, we’re only nineteen and we’re gonna be around people in their twenties!”
“Okay and?” She scoffed, folding her arms in protest, "I happen to think we’re very mature for our age.”
“You called me crying just last weekend because you thought your toaster swallowed your debit card,” I reminded her, “twice."
“Okay, okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I have my moments, we both do, little miss I-still-expect-my-brothers-to-tie-my-shoelaces-for-me-every-morning—” she began, and I immediately placed my hand over her mouth to shut her up and she giggled.
“That was supposed to be a secret, Syd!” I gasped, scolding her as she moved my hand away.
“It’s not a secret if everybody knows,” she reminded me, and I rolled my eyes. "Listen, on the bright side we get more space, and another roommate!”
“Another one!” I leered, feeling a sense of impending doom. “Please tell me it’s someone who doesn’t have any annoying pets.”
“Relax, we got Remi,” she disclosed and I immediately sighed in relief, just as her phone pinged and she took it out of her purseto check, showing me the text on screen. “Matter of fact, she’s already moved in.”
