Finally, he stood, the bed creaking as he left. “I’ll leave the food here,” he said, his voice distant now. “Please just eatsomething, okay?”
Later on, the door opened again, barely a minute after Cahya left. I thought he’d come back, ready to try again, but it wasn’t him.
“Can I come in?” Soleh’s voice was small, almost tentative, and it made my chest tighten in a way that Cahya’s words hadn’t.
I didn’t answer, but he took my silence as permission. The door creaked open wider, and he shuffled inside.
“I brought my Switch,” he said, holding it up like a peace offering. “Thought maybe we could play.”
I didn’t move.
He sat down on the floor near the bed, his back against the frame. The glow of the screen lit up his face, soft and pale in thedim room. “I thought we could playThe Legend of Zelda.” he said, his tone light, hopeful. “Or maybeMario Kart? I’ll let you win.”
The words pierced something deep inside me. I stayed still, my chest tightening as I stared at the sliver of light coming through the curtain.Wyn used to say that. Wyn always let me win. Every time.
“Please?” Soleh said, his voice quieter now.
Without thinking, I slid off the bed, moving slowly until I was sitting on the floor across from him. He didn’t react, didn’t comment on the way I kept my eyes down, my hands trembling slightly as I took the controller he handed me.
He set up the game quickly, his fingers moving with practiced ease. The familiar music ofZeldafilled the silence, and for a moment, I let myself get lost in the bright colors of the screen.
“Why is it so hard to fight this monster?” Soleh said, groaning dramatically as he fumbled his turn. “I’m pretty sure this game is rigged.”
I didn’t laugh, but my lips twitched faintly.
“You’re good at this,” he said as I completed a perfect recipe. “I don’t think I’ve ever beaten you.”
The words hit me harder than I expected. Wyn had said the same thing once, in this exact tone, with that same small, crooked smile.
The controller slipped from my hands, landing softly in my lap. My vision blurred, tears pooling before I could stop them. The memory of him letting me win, laughing softly, ruffling my hair when I pouted—it all came rushing back, overwhelming me.
“Are you okay?” Soleh asked, his voice small, hesitant.
I nodded, but the tears spilled over, hot and silent, streaking down my face as I clutched the controller like it was the only thing keeping me tethered to the moment.
Soleh didn’t say anything for a long time. He just sat there, close enough to be a presence but far enough to give me space. It was the kind of quiet comfort I didn’t know I needed.
When I finally spoke, my voice was hoarse, barely audible. “Where is he, Soleh?”
“Are you sure you wanna know, Soh?” He glanced around awkwardly.
“Tell me,” I pleaded.
He hesitated, and I could feel the weight of his answer hanging in the air. “Cahya said he flew back to the US,” he said quietly. “Yesterday.”
The words hit like a punch to the gut, stealing the air from my lungs. Wyn wasgone. He’d left without a word, without waiting for me to fix things, without giving me the chance to make it right.
“You hurt himreallybad, Yesoh, I saw him crying when he left,” Soleh said. “I am not saying this to make you feel bad but whenever I make my friends upset sometimes I just need to give them space.”
“Yeah…” I swallowed hard.
“They also have to know that you didn’t mean it and that you’re sorry,” Soleh said. “Are you sorry, Yesoh?”
His words hung in the air with such weight, Am I sorry? I got the sense that it didn’t matter whether I was sorry yet or not—he was going to make me sorry. I knew Wynter better than anyone, I can declare that with utmost confidence. And what I knew above all is that while he was the kindest person it took one misstep to make him never speak to you again.
I nodded numbly, tears falling faster now, my hands trembling as I placed the controller on the floor. Soleh didn’t push me, didn’t ask any questions. He just stayed there, his presence a small light in the overwhelming darkness.
And for the first time in days, I let myself cry for real—deep, gut-wrenching sobs that shook my whole body. Because Wynter was gone, I had hurt him, and I didn’t know if he’d ever come back.
