Dreamscape Journal Entry:
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
- Langston Hughs
When I closed my eyes and opened them once more I was splayed on the woodland floor once more, I was wearing my plain white lace nightgown and it was covered in earth. I looked up at the moon and it called to me as the nightlife echoed in the near distance, the soft coo of the owls and snickering of the cunning foxes. I felt the drumming of the earth beneath my palms as I got up and heard the call of a voice.
"Help!" The young voice called, "Help him please!"
It was that of a little boy and he was calling out to me, I immediately leapt up from the ground and began my journey through the woods to find him.
When I stumbled upon the two, the blonde-haired boy with clear doe brown eyes was kneeling next to the darker-haired boy with eyes- so cold and distant it was dispiriting. He was tied up to the trunk of an oak tree, his limbs tangled up by thorny brambles and contorting hungry vines.
"I can't do it, I can't save him anymore!" The other little boy yelped as he reached out his hand to hold the other, but it ran right through him as though he wasn't really there. He appeared almost ghastly and glass-like.
"But why me?" I asked because I was curious, why did it have to be me?
"Because you're the only one who can." He said and I began to try and untangle the thorns at the little boys' feet but as I did they began to bloody my hands wrap around me instead.
Because that's what pain does, it desperately needs someone to cling to and in taking away his I was hurting myself. But I'd do anything to help him because the blonde boy was right, only I could do it. And even after I'd managed to spare him from the pain and he was free, he still ran to the other boy instead of thinking twice about me.
He wrapped his arms around the blonde boy but as he did so he evaporated into nothingness and the dark-haired boy was left empty-handed while I was held down by thorns, suffering to take away his pain.
The next day was the first day back in school for us and teachers were already piling homework on our desks that were due in such little time. I was going to make sure I did all of my work the exact day it was assigned to me so I didn't find myself worrying about anything. But as I was making my way over to my next class which was maths I noticed that Fabian was making his way over to me, he wore a dark hoodie that covered most of his face.
"What do you want?" I asked folding my arms, "And make it quick I have to get to class,
"I'm sorry Armani, I really am." He apologised and I remained silent, just as he did when I confronted him,
"And so is that it?" I asked and he sighed and took off his hoodie and I could see the purple bruise on his right eye.
"Believe me when I say I suffered dearly for the consequences of my lapse in judgement." He added,
"What happened?" I asked but a part of me felt like I already knew the answer,
"Kennedy happened, when I told him he— well you canseewhat he did." Fabian said matter of factly, "And I'm not here to play the victim, I'm here to apologise."
Just then Merilla appeared and wrapped her arms around me like she hadn't seen me in years. It was nice to know that I mattered and that I was actually missed those few days I was gone.
"I missed you, babe!" Mer cheered, "There's so much to catch you up on, and woah— what happened to you Fabes?"
"River kicked his ass because he didn't warn us like he was supposed to that my incredibly strict and judgmental mother was in my dorm room waiting." I clarified and Mer cringed at the bruise that nearly had Fabian's eye closed shut,
"I can't defend you anymore, you got what was coming to you," Mer added with a laugh and he looked down shamefully,
I thought about it for a minute, if it was worth forgiving him for all this, but then I remembered that if I screwed up I'd want to be forgiven. And it was for that reason, and how much I missed our friendship that I decided to say;
"I forgive you." And I did, because that's what friends do...right?
"Good I just want things to go back to the way they were before everything." Fabian babbled but I stopped him, because I knew this was coming,
"Thingscan'tgo back to the way they were Fabes, I'm with River now and I have to know that you're going to be okay with that?" I queried and his expression shifted in an almost eerie way,
"Of course, I am, sorry for being such a dick again. I never meant to hurt you." He smiled and I smiled back,
"It's okay, we're okay," I assured him and he wrapped me in a hug that lasted oddly longer than I expected.
After class I decided to go over to Victoria's and hang out with her for a little bit, my friendship with Victoria King was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. She made me feel seen and heard and she never judged me and kept me on my feet all the time. I never would've thought that she and I would ever get along let alone be friends. To be honest we were polar opposites.
