Because we were about to make it our own.
We fumbled into the room closing the door behind us and locking it, the only light came bleeding from the moon through the Victorian window. I traced my fingers over River’s face, his straight nose, his sharp cheekbones, and the fullness of his lips before they met mine. I gasped slightly at the suddenness of it all, he reached his hand behind my neck and kissed me like that was but all he had been made to do. His lips moved to my neck, warm and all-consuming, his touch feather-light yet feverish. I sighed as his hands glided down to the small of my back, moulded perfectly into me, almost as if we were crafted to be that way. “Please.” He whispered toying with the strings of my corset, the white ropes dancing between his long slender fingers. “I want to…try this.”
“Try what?” I wondered my mind dizzy with sweet pleasure.
River’s lips curved into a small cunning smile before he began to undo the ropes, one by one without even turning me around to look.
Then he spun me around, tore my dove white wings off, and made a devil out of me.
The cool breeze met my bare skin as his fingers skilled and quick with every movement as he slowly begun to leave a trail of soft kisses down my torso, his nails digging into my thighs etching me with the mark of his desire.
“This.” He sighed in response, his voice merely a plea as he bit his lip, then licked it, wetting it. He fell to his knees before me, and I felt almost honoured at the gesture. Looking up at me with doe eyes before his fingers slipped the fabric down my legs and I thread my fingers through the dark lochs of his hair.
"Do you trust me?" He asked,
"More than anything," I assured him and I did, I don't know why I do but I did.
I realised the hidden connotations behind his affection, he was slowly working towards forgiveness, because that's exactly what he was doing- earning his forgiveness by bringing me pleasure to make up for all the pain.
“Je veux que tu me montres comment…” he asked,I want you to show me how. I nodded silently in response.
Before I knew it he had access to all of me, every inch of my skin was his map to my destination.
“River?” I whispered as I closed my eyes, tilting my head back as my knees felt weakened by him.
“Hm?” He mumbled in response far too preoccupied.
“Don’t stop,” I asked of him as his head disappeared between my legs.
It felt like pure ecstasy had gone off inside of me waves of pleasure radiated in pulsing beats outward from my very soul. Waves of euphoria radiated in pulsing beats outward from the epicentre of the explosion for seconds, sometimes minutes, followed by total relaxation. River gazed up at me and smiled knowingly.
It felt like nothing mattered. Every concern, responsibility, and every guilty feeling went away. At this moment I let everything go and connected with myself in a way I never had before, I was so happy I'd shared this experience with River too. I was so happy I didn't realise it then but I forgave him, for everything.
"You're so beautiful." He said between kisses before sliding down and leaning his head on my belly and I ran my fingers through his raven hair as our breaths filled the room.
"I wish I could be the perfect person for you, the one you deserve." He mumbled against my skin,
“And yet?” I teased, but then I realized he wasn’t joking.
“And yet I am the furthest thing from it.” He reminded me, “I am so ardently flawed in all the most discernible places.” He told me.
“Then I am willingly blind,” I stated.
“What?” He perplexed sitting up but I eased him back down to lean on me.
“In my eyes, all your flaws will appear like highlights to your very being, and all your mistakes to which you believe are so detectable will appear intentional,” I promised him, half-jokingly, half-not.
“You mean that?”
“Indeed, Kennedy.”
“Oh.” He smiled against my skin.
"I never wanted perfect, all I ever wanted was you," I assured him, and I actually meant it.
River and I lay there for a while mostly because I still needed to regain my composure and contemplate on everything that just happened in this bed a few moments ago. But in that moment as the moonlight shone through the balcony and he lay between my bare thighs as I ran my hands through his raven hair- on this fair Halloween night I knew. I knew that I would give anything to feel alive that way again.
It was as though back home in Kenya and even in Jacksonville I was dormant, a sleeping soul who simply needed something- or someone to wake her up. When I met the incredible anomaly that was River Kennedy, he ignited something deep within me that would never know rest again. I had no choice but to erupt and be anywherebutmy comfort zone.
