Collateral Damage
Peopleatwarwiththemselves will always cause collateral damage in the lives of those around them."
- JOHN MARK GREEN
BY THE TIME opened my eyes I was still asleep in River's car, we were parked on campus and the heating in the car was all the way up. I couldn't help but wonder how long I had been out? I turned to look at River, who was looking at me with tired eyes as I rubbed the sleep out of my own.
"Oh, I'm sorry, how long have I been asleep?" I asked sitting up,
"Only fifteen minutes." He told me, he looked pretty exhausted too, but he let me sleep in his car, why?
"Why didn't you wake me when we arrived?" I asked out of curiosity,
"You looked tired, I figured I'd let you get some rest." He admitted and I was immediately taken aback, he let me rest for nearly twenty minutes in his parked car when he simply could've just woken me up and been on his way back home, he was clearly just as tired as I was if not more.
"That's..."I began struggling to find the words, "Really nice of you, you didn't have to do that."
"Of course, I didn't." He replied turning down the heat,
"But you did." I realised,
"Idid." He confirmed and a sleepy smile played on my lips, I grabbed my purse just as I opened the car door and the foreign cold breeze hit my skin.
"Well then, goodnight River, and congratulations on winning, youreallydid deserve it," I assured him.
And then we just stared at each other and as his pretty blue eyes focused on my browns, I knew not to expect him to kiss me goodnight. I knew not to expect him to offer to walk me back to my dorm and linger a little longer and make silly small talk because we couldn't bear to say goodbye. I knew not to, Because this wasn't a normal date with any normal guy, this wasn'tanythingreally. I knew not to expect it, but I wanted it, I wanted to him to kiss me I really fucking did.
"Goodnight." He simply said before starting up the engine, I was disappointed, but I couldn't let it show.
I stepped out and shut the car door and watched as he reversed out of the parking space and drove off campus and into the night. I checked my phone and it was a quarter to midnight and I was all alone again. I made my way back to my dorm room where Keomi was pacing around in her nightclothes. She greeted me with surprise and relief when I walked through the door.
"Armani!" She sighed letting out an exhausted breath, "Where the hell have you been I was worried sick?"
"Oh I was at River's and then we went for dinner, I guess I lost track of time. I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you." I apologised, I found myself doing a lot of that lately.
"I left you thousands of texts, Paris isn't exactly the safest place on earth." She scolded and I checked my phone and indeed I had twelve unread messages and five missed calls from Keomi. "Did you at least have a good time?" She asked lightening the mood,
"I think I did yeah." I authenticated, "About the competition--"
"I heard, I'msosorry you lost that must’ve hurt, but remember there are always more opportunities and chances to improve and claim your victory." She emphasised with an encouraging smile and cheesy thumbs up,
"Yeah, it hit me pretty hard," I admitted and she offered me a hug and I took it, wrapping my arms around her.
"So what's been going on between you two, you've been hanging out a lot lately?" She asked and I wanted to tell her just as I did with Mer, I really did. But how could I explain a relationship I'm not even sure really exists?
Sometimes I felt like the connection I had with him was all in my head, like I’d made it up because of how I felt for him, maybe my efforts and feelings were unrequited. And so that is the only reason that I said,
"Nothing really, I guess we're just friends," I told her, and I could tell she was struggling to believe me,
"Whatever you say, you can talk to me when you're ready." She assured me just as I'd offered her the same courtesy when we first met.
"What did I do to deserve you?" I asked and she got a cocky smile on her face,
"Nothing, maybe I'm your Guardian Angel." She joked and turned on Skins on her laptop for us to watch since we'd basically watched every episode of Friends at that point. Eventually, the screen faded into the darkness and we fell fast asleep.
Fabian And I were in English when he tapped me on the shoulder and tossed a crumpled-up note onto my desk. I was hesitant to open it up right this moment because our English teacher had eyes at the back of her head and we could never get anything past her. But I took my chances and opened it up anyways.
They’re showing Amélie at the cinema tonight, wanna go downtown and watch it with me?
