Talking to Fabian was like talking to an old friend, and I felt like I'd known him for ages. When we spoke, we understood each other, and he never once made me feel like a prude for never having partied or had any boyfriends during high school. Instead, he assured me that he knew what it was like to have protective parents who'd set goals for you the second you were born.
According to word of mouth, Fabian was born the only child of the famous 80's actress Camille Allard and her marquee husband, Pierre Lyon. They never wanted a big family, not that they couldn't afford it but simply because they didn't have the time to raise one. Fabian was born when Camille was at the very height of her career, everyone knew it was never her intention to settle down and bear children at the tender age of twenty-two, but things happen.
She loved Fabian with her entire body and soul, but it was evident that she still carried resentment towards him for her short-lived career, that every time she looked into his doe brown eyes, she couldn't help but see what could've been...
And Fabianknewthis.
"So how about we start with the make-out stakeouts?" He whispered secretively,
"Yes, although I don't think I'll ever need to know." I reminded myself, my parents' words echoing in my mind.
There would be no lips on mine and most certainly not any hands intertwined, I had dealt with that truth, and I was more than okay with it.
"Why not? You're beautiful." Fabian scoffed as though I were blind not to see it. “There will be many guys that’d be grateful for you to just look in their direction.”
Oh.
"You think so?" I smiled, humouring his compliment, not being able to make eye contact with him. I've never been able to look people directly in the eye— it makes me feel oddly small.
"Of course." Fabian agreed, placing a caring hand on my shoulder. His auburn eyes shone brightly. "Now, let's get started."
The first place he took us to was the old Napoleon Bonaparte memorial bench behind the school, where a couple was already hitting second base before our very eyes. The next 'make out stakeout' was the janitor's closet on the third floor, and let's just say it reeked of buzzing teenage hormones and bleach, not exactly the most romantic setting. The last spot was the old chemistry lab. How fucking ironic.
Fabian and I continued through the hallways as he gave me a very detailed tour. I felt like I belonged for the first time in a while. We then proceeded to go back to the dorms, where Keomi and Merilla were snuggled up watching some show on her laptop.
"We have returned. Awaken from your slumber, fair maidens!" Fabian exclaimed, and everyone shot him a puzzled glare. "Oh, come on, it was for effect, okay?"
“What effect?” Merilla scoffed, “literal terror?”
"Whatever, we just started season six," Keomi tells him,
"Without me?" He scoffed, folding his arms.
"This is our third How I met your mother reboot Fabes." Keomi reminded him reaching across Merilla to connect her phone to the charger.
"Third times the charm." I reminded them, and Fabian smiled at me. I smiled back.
I had made a friend, I thought…friends.
"See, even Armani agrees with me." He protests,
"Okay fine, you're such a pain!" Keomi groaned, making room for him on her bed. He warmed up next to them with a triumphant grin.
I began awkwardly scrolling through my phone when I noticed everyone's eyes on me. I looked up from my phone. Witnessing this kind of friendship evoked an emptiness in me I couldn’t quite explain. I had never understood what is meant when people say that you cannot miss what you’ve never had because I’ve had a longing for impossible things all my life. Perhaps it is the impossibility of them that made me want them— the very fact that they were out of reach. Being around Fabian, Keomi and Merilla made me realize how incredibly alone I’d been all these years.
"What?" I mumbled, "Is there something on my face?"
"Yes, that stupid ass look, now come join us!" Merilla scolded as they all made space for me.
They all made space forme.
"Thanks. Which season did you say this was?" I asked,
"Six, but hey, how about we start again from season one- pour notre nouvel ami?" Fabian suggests,for our new friend.
They all smile at each other and agree to start all over just for me, the gesture is kind, and it warms my heart. We spent the rest of the evening laughing along at the TV show, swearing on our lives that it was the funniest thing we'd ever watched. I realized that Marshall, Lilly, Barney, Ted and Robin’s friendship was to become the blueprint for all my future ones. We ended up falling asleep halfway through the eighth episode on Keomi's bed. The AC blew my curls in my face as the moonlight shone through the large Victorian window, everyone else was fast asleep, and I didn't want to wake them.
I slid out of bed, ignoring the fact that Fabian had his arm snaked around my waist. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. The bedroom light turned on, and everyone else woke up reluctantly.
