PARMIGIANA
-RK
I smiled to myself, remembering what I'd asked the night before. Funnily enough, that was all I could remember, all my mind could possibly fathom.
"He never left, you know?" Keomi sighed, lacing up her sneakers, looking ready to start the day.
"What do you mean?" I yawned, sitting up in bed,
"He stayed all night." She continued, "You were wasted last night."
"Oh no!" I groaned, sinking my head back into the comfort of my pillow,
"You and River practically had sex on the dance floor." She laughed, and I felt a twinge of embarrassment,
"You're joking. Please tell me you're kidding!" I protested, sitting up in bed,
"I wanted to toss you a pack of birth control right there." She laughed, and I couldn't help but find amusement in it.
"Once again, please tell me this is all a bad dream." I insisted.
"I wish I could. I didn't know you had moves. You've got to teach me sometime." Keomi winked, "It's totally not a big deal, to me anyway."
I gave her a warm and appreciative smile, proceeding to slip out of my sheets and down the glass of water on my bedside table before changing into a pretty yellow sundress for class. I'd bought it the summer I turned sixteen from a little shop on pier 39 in San Francisco. I recalled my face flushed from the heat of June, my body buzzing with adolescent anticipation, my fingertips sticky with coffee ice cream, and my entire being overflowing with potential. Keomi and I headed down the flight of stairs out of the dormitory block and all the way across campus. Just then, I saw Fabian, Geneviève, and Merilla, who looked like death quite frankly, curled up on a bench, wearing dark sunglasses and downing cups of coffee.
"You look as bad as I feel." I pointed out, swallowing the dread building in my throat, hoping they wouldn't poke fun at last night.
"If it isn't la meilleure décapante de toute la France." Genè slurred with a cruel smirk playing on her face. Her words taunted me,the best stripper in all of France.
"Keomi, you swore it wasn't that bad!" I gasped in offence, and Keomi turned away in guilt.
"It was quite the spectacular scene indeed." She laughed and then winced at what I'd assumed was a killer hangover headache.
My gaze caught Fabian's in the hopes that he would defend me or even assure me it wasn't what it looked like, but he just shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.
"Come on, you guys, we've all done some crazy shit when we were drunk." Merilla interrupted, swinging a hand over my shoulder.
"Not all of us, merci beaucoup." Gene warned,
"Are you sure about that one, Gene?" Merilla challenged.
"Fabian, last summer on Antibes beach in the Riviera when you broke a 30-year-old bottle of whisky," Keomi recalled, and Fabian threw his hands up in the air in defeat.
"Gene, the night your father threatened to cut you off if you didn't improve your grades, you got wasted and danced on the hotel bar tabletop to the mama mia soundtrack and Jace had to drag you home," Merilla added and you could tell that the mention of Jace stirred up so many emotions in everyone.
"It was not that bad—" Gene defended,
"It was theextendedsoundtrack and karaoke CD," Merilla added, and Gene glanced down.
"Fine, we'll spare you the torment this time, new girl." Gene sighed in defeat, and Fabian just shot me a slight smile, but I couldn't help but shake the feeling that he was mad at me about something, whatever that was.
We made our way to our first classes of the day, Gene and Merilla's being philosophy and Fabian and I's being European History. Keomi had a free period. I was dreading, more than anything having to face River. After all the events that transpired last night, I didn’t know how he could ever look at me the same. But maybe I didn’twanthim to look at me the same. Perhaps some twisted part of me wanted him to see me as more than just a good girl. Maybe I wanted him to see me not as a girl but as a woman.
There was a time when I thought that perhaps a switch would flip in my mind as I crossed the bridge between being a girl and becoming a woman. I thought that maybe I'd feel it in my bones, that I'd wake up one day, and I'd be just a little taller, a little wiser. But it was almost as if it happened overnight. It's the kind of thing that never dares to give you a warning. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. I woke up one day, and I had shed the skin of my childhood. I was born anew with new desires and wants. A new heart that tended to have a weaker moral compass and a longing for bad things.
We took our seats and the second River wandered into class. Like a phantom of my darkest intentions, I caught his eye, desperately trying to read him, but as usual, nothing. It was almost as if he had mastered the art of nonchalance. He was so effortlessly aloof that it made him entirely unapproachable. I got the sense that this was precisely what he wanted, to be ignored. But that's the thing, it was impossiblenotto see him. I wondered if he knew. He glanced back at me, his blue eyes glinting with a hint of mischief in the sunlight… oh hedefinitelyknew.
I glanced down and begun continuing our previous assignment that I hadn't finished, writing in the blank spaces between the photographs. I couldn't help but shake the feeling that someone was staring at me so I glanced up and my gaze met River's yet again, he shot me a glare that asked what was wrong, but I simply shook my head and proceeded to do my work. Once I was done, I made my way to the front of the class to show our teacher my notebook. He nodded in approval and called for River to come up to the front as well.
