“I see a pain in your eyes far too familiar, a pain I doubt the others could even comprehend.” He prompted.
"My grandmother is ill," I admitted, confiding in him. "And I can't fly home to see her because of my academic obligations.”
"Where is home?" River asked,
"Kenya." I told him, “Nairobi, to be exact.”
"I didn't know." He admitted,
"Of course, you wouldn't know. You didn't bother to ask." I retorted and something close to offence flashed in his eyes, but then he returned to his usual stone-cold expression.
"Does she mean a lot to you?"
"She means the world to me. She taught me everything I know." I assured him,
"Then she lives inside of you," River said in a tone I couldn’t quite recognize. He trailed his finger over my chest, right over my heart, "Here,"
I could feel the tears begin to sting in my eyes, I didn’t think anyone could ever understand, but he did. How was it possible that Keomi couldn't tell that I was unhappy, but River could? How could he read me so well and yet claim that he barely knew me?
"Don't cry." He said, wiping away the tear that almost tumbled down my cheek,almost. That was the first time River Kennedy had ever looked even slightly sincere with me. He was always so eerily calm, like a lake at midnight, a composer's quill. He was steady.
"Let's go down by the River Seine for pictures of La Tour Eiffel." He suggested breaking his gaze from mine, and as wonderful as that moment had been, it had dissolved into nothingness.
River and I walked in silence down the street, passing a man playing the guitar by a fancy restaurant. I tossed a few coins into his open case, and he thanked me by playing a song just for me. River didn't want to wait and hear his song, but I begged him to give me a few minutes.
"You two are a beautiful couple, merci!" The man beamed, taking off his checkered hat in appreciation.
"We aren't together. Sorry to disappoint." I laughed, and River looked away as though he couldn't even fathom the idea.
"We have to go," River demanded, and I sighed, walking away with him. The view of La Tour Eiffel from here was exquisite and made for the best photos. I figured I'd send some home to my family in a postcard or something.
"I'll write the descriptive pieces too if you want," I told him, and he narrowed his eyes into two slits of ice.
"I'd never let you do all the work." He declared, “You can take the photos, and I will write.”
"Oh, that's great then!" I agreed. I wouldn't let his moodiness ruin such a beautiful night. Just then, I got a call from Keomi telling me that she and the others would meet us here in a few minutes.
"I have to go." River said simply, overhearing our conversation, as he begun to walk away.
He was not being serious.
"Why don't you want to see your friends?" I asked, and he stopped in his tracks. "Please talk to me."
"You wouldn't understand." He insisted, glancing away,
"Look atme, and when I'm talking toyou, River Kennedy," I dictated, using his own words against him,
"It's just not the same anymore. I'm not the same person anymore." He admitted and I realized that that was the first real thing he'd ever told me.
"They're your friends River. I'm sure they'd understand," I sympathized, stepping closer to him,
"You'resofucking naïve." He almost yelled, he was angry, and this is the reaction I wanted. I wanted to make him feel something other than, well… nothing.
"Becauseno onewill talk to me." I reminded him, then I took a deep breath, "Look, I didn't know you before, but the River I know now can't be bad enough that his own friends wouldn't want to be around him anymore."
"You don't know that." He laughed bitterly, “I have neglected them for a long time, neglected almost everyone.”
"Iknowthat they miss you, they really do, so please come with us tonight. It's just one night." I pleaded, not for me, but for Keomi, Fabian, Merilla and even Genevieve.
