It would be in everyone's best interest to remember that I'd choose Fabien Lyon over anything.
“I don’t know if Jace will listen to me though, maybe you should talk to him. I'm worried about what will happen if we don’t.” I expressed.
"I thought you said you wanted to help me?" Fabian scoffed and I took a deep breath.
"Fabien is this really what you want, I mean he is your friend isn't he?" I questioned and his eyes darken, “you should be able to apologize.”
"Not right now." Fabien deadpanned, his gaze then softened and he leaned in to kiss me, his kiss that I craved like it was the elixir to life itself. "Say you'll help me?"
"Say I'm the best you've ever had," I retorted rolling on top of him, "Say I'm everything you've ever wanted,"
"Keomi I-" he began but I cut him off,
"Just for one night." I pleaded and he took his bottom lip between his teeth,
Fabien grinned, gripping my hips and propping me on top of him and he attached his lips to my feverish neck, his kiss was hot and slow and I melted into his touch.
"You're the best I've ever had, Keomi Nakamura," he hummed, slipping his hand up my thigh, "No one does it for me like you do, you're everything I've ever wanted."
"That's all I've ever wanted." I sighed and I let him inside me, not just my body, but my heart too once more.
Oh, how a fool in love is the most dangerous thing.
The day of Jace's Funeral
The Père Lachaise Cemetery was a sea of black and emptiness as the pastor read from the Bible words I didn't understand, he told promises of this good place where all the pure souls that have long left the earth went and I wanted to believe him. Because Jace Monet was indeed all things good and pure, he was cut from the same cloth of the white doves that soared the skies, the glimmer of seawater pearls, and the sheathed fur of the lambs. He was light incarnate and I'd watched as Fabien’s cruel words took that away.
I turned my gaze to his mother and father, he held her as she cried and asked her God 'why him' and got nothing but the pitter-patter of the rains as a reply. I held onto my black umbrella, my knuckles whitening at the guilt and disgust of knowing what was on his mind the day he crashed the car. I knew that he felt trapped and I couldn’t help him.
I turned my gaze to River who I'd assumed would be the most devastated, but he hadn't said a word since the accident, let alone shed a single tear. He appeared pale, numb almost and ghost-like, as though it was him in that casket instead of Jace. I watched Merilla and Geneviève speak their last words to him and I cried as they said goodbye to our friend.I could've stopped this, I could've.
I could’ve talked to him and said something.Fabien strode up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder, one that I assumed was supposed to bring me comfort.
"It's okay Keomi, it wasn't our fault." Fabien cooed and I shrugged away from his touch,
"Are you out of your mind?" I cried, "Yes, yes it was Fabien."
"Don't you ever talk like that again, no one can hear you speak like that, do you understand me? This is my burden to carry not yours. I was the one who said words I didn’t mean." He said brushing my hair away from my face, his words were bitter but his expression remained eerily calm, "You will never have to face the consequences of my mistake."
"No it will be both of us, we will feel it every day perhaps not physically but here," I gestured tapping at the side of his forehead, "we will never erase the guilt, we will never erase the fact that we could’ve been there for him."
"Oh Keomi, you can’t say anything to anyone about this," Fabien said.
"Or what?" I spat bitterly, "You're the worst thing that ever happened to me." I hissed, I didn't mean it of course but perhaps in the moment I did.
"Oh but Keomi you're the best I've ever had," he recited, "You'reeverythingI've ever wanted."
I knew I lost him when I looked into his eyes and everything I ever loved and cherished about him was gone
Chapter 33
The Truth Will Set You Free
I IMMEDIATELY swung open the door and stood there in my place, having heard enough. Fabian and Keomi turned around to meet my gaze, and their hands might as well have been painted red with how guilty they looked.
“Armani…” Fabian spoke, swallowing hard.
“We weren’t expecting you.” Keomi tried to smile off.
