I made it three steps, barely crossing the threshold into the kitchen, before Ivan grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.I crashed into his body. His strong hands gripped my face. They had the power to crush bone. To snap my neck. Instead, they held me tight as he bent over me.
“You do not get to walk away from me,” he snarled and kissed me.
The contact was thunderous. Lightning shot through my veins, burning me from the inside out. I flicked his tongue, forcing my own to swipe a taste. He was darkness and sin, mint and male. My nails scored his chest, driving up to find purchase on his skin.
The kiss was hot and full of fury. But just as I was about to surrender, right before I climbed into his arms, the door down the back hall cracked.
“Mama, the bears are chasing me,” Brady’s voice was full of panic.
I jumped back, creating space between Ivan and me.
“Bears? What bears dare to chase you?” Ivan was faster than me. He moved around my body, bending to one knee and opening his arms.
Brady rushed into his father’s embrace. He jabbered about the grizzly bears eating all the food in Montana and coming to North Dakota to find fresh campers to devour.
I brushed my fingers over Ivan’s bare shoulders in thanks as I passed. Hurrying to the bedroom, I closed the door, dropped the towel, and put on the first thing I found, since my jammies were still in the bathroom. Saints above, a small house was cozy and nice, but there was no privacy. I tugged the sweatshirt over my arms. Brady nearly caught me kissing his dad. The brief kiss at the ice cream parlor I wrote off by explaining I was scared and Ivan was comforting me. The depraved mouth-fucking just now? Not only should a five-year-oldnotwitness that, but there was no explanation my frazzled brain could give right now. I wasn’tready to explore what that meant, and I sure as hell didn’t want to explain it to the little fellow who would ask a billion questions.
Ivan gently pushed the door open a moment later and peeked inside. When he saw I was dressed, he handed Brady back to me.
“Sleep now, you’re safe,” he promised.
Brady’s arms wrapped tight around my neck. “Can’t you stay too, tatko?”
I shared a look with Ivan. This was how it was meant to be, a child with two people who adored him. Nothing else should matter. The circumstances were for us adults to deal with.
“I don’t think we’ll fit in the bed.” Ivan gave me a way out.
“We can fit,” I offered and went to lay down, pressing my back against the wall. Brady snuggled close, and after a moment, Ivan lowered himself on the other end of the twin mattress.
Squished in close, Brady soon fell asleep. Ivan and I stared at one another in silence for what seemed like hours. We didn’t speak, but we didn’t have to. This was what Ivan was asking for when he proposed. A place at our table. It was in my power to give it.
But I stayed quiet, knowing it wasn’t just the man who wanted to join, but the beast that ruled the dark corners of Chicago who would always be there, no matter how much we liked his alter ego named dad.
Ivan was gone when we woke up. Brady was a bit more sluggish than usual, and he grew frustrated with the puzzle we tried to work on at the coffee table.
“Mama, we never walk anymore,” he pouted.
I sighed. “I know, bud. But there just aren’t places in the city to go walking like back home.”
Brady scrunched up his nose. “I miss Mary, Laura, and Carrie.”
Pulling up my phone, I showed him a snapchat from my cousin. “Theo’s been taking really good care of them.”
“But he’s not a cat wrangler!” Brady protested.
It’s time to go home.
Except, Carrington was no longer our home. How did I tell my little guy that the fields we rambled over, the cows we bottle-fed, and the cats we cuddled with weren’t part of our lives anymore?
“Want to go to the store and get the steaks for dinner?” I offered.
Brady grimaced again. “Sure, but why do we only go to that store?”
I shrugged to avoid answering.
“Aren’t there other stores in the city? Tatko took me to the mall….” He stopped and his face fell.
He hadn’t wanted to talk about the incident at the ice cream parlor. I wasn’t an expert on trauma, but him seeing four thugs shot was no doubt preying on his mind. That was why I hated the underworld. Its scars were deep.
