Because when he knelt and ran the backs of his knuckles across my cheek, I couldn’t move away from him. Couldn’t even lift a hand as he worked an arm under my shattered body and lifted my upper half. Couldn’t stop my head from lolling back and exposing my throat.
He’d broken something important deep inside of me, and I didn’t have enough essence left in me to heal. Panic sprouted in my chest and unfurled like a noxious weed. There was no stopping it, even as I told myself that I could handle it. That I wouldn’t show him an ounce of fear again. But it coated my skin and drenched my blood.
I can handle this.
“Such a fucking waste.” Kolis’s voice thinned. “I really did love you,so’lis. All you had to do was love me back. That was all I ever wanted.”
My heart thudded heavily as my eyes flickered over the ruined, bloodied Hall.
“But you couldn’t do that for me.” He brushed back some hair that had come loose from my braid. “No one could.” His voice thickened then, becoming rough around the edges. “No one except my brother.”
Before I could even process his words, he sank his fangs into the flesh of my throat once more. I barely felt them pierce the skin, but I could feel the deep tugging motion in my chest as he drank. I willed my body to move, but nothing did.
I can handle this.
The panic and fear were reaching deep inside me, finding the part that had hidden itself away the moment the thing masquerading as Isbeth delivered her message. The part of me that was Poppy. Not the version from when I wore the veil or the one with godly powers, but the one who had finally found the courage to face the truth, no matter how harsh it was. The one who’d learned how to really laugh. Who had learned to stop hiding her scars—both seen and unseen. Who had learned to accept them. The Poppy who’d discovered what freedom felt like. And what love tasted like. The Poppy who had only begun to discover herself. And that fear and panic wasn’t just rotting that part of me from the inside; it was undoing all I had done to become the person I was today. And it felt irrevocable.
The mouth at my throat suddenly ceased its hungry movements, and Kolis stiffened. Through half-open eyes, I saw the essence rising to the surface. Dark crimson shadows appeared under the skin of his shoulders and swirled down his arms, slipping under the golden band.
He shifted, and my head fell back farther. My gaze swept over the Hall—
Something snagged my attention. The doors to the Great Hall. They were open. Hadn’t they been closed before? And Attes…
I saw the pool of blood.
But Attes wasgone.
And now, the doors… They were closed.
A faint buzzing sensation erupted along my waist and back. I could feel it, and the sensation quickly increased until it felt like I was being stung by a hundred angry hornets. My jaw locked, and my fingers spasmed. A searing ache bloomed beneath my skin, tightening and throbbing—
Oh, gods. It was his essence.
A tremor rocked me as I felt my flesh starting to blister and burn. I tried to use my legs to break his hold, but my feet slipped over the tile. I kept my jaw locked. He wanted me to scream, and he’d already gotten one from me. And more. He’d gotten my pleas, begging him to stop. He wouldn’t get anything else.
I could handle this.
I had to.
I stared blindly as fiery agony crawled across my skin, causing every nerve ending to burn. Pain- and panic-fueled desperation flooded my senses. Darkness flashed across my vision. My limbs jerked as if attached to invisible strings being pulled. I couldn’t take it. It was too much. The scent of charred flesh rose. I couldn’t breathe. My chest compressed. Icouldn’thandle this.
I wanted it to be over.
I wanted to die.
And that was proof that I wasn’t strong. That Ihadn’tgrown. It felt like a facade, and that shattered my very being.
I screamed.
Again.
I screamed, tearing up the inside of my throat—
Sharp, sudden pain lanced through the blistering agony. It exploded, shooting upward and spreading across my jaw as Kolis tore his fangs free. A ragged, low whine escaped me as he jerked his head up. His features were blurry—all but his lips. His red-smeared lips.
Kolis’s head cocked, and then he cranked it to the side. “What the—?”
A streak of crackling, silver eather raced above my head, slamming into Kolis with a loud crack. The impact tore me out of his grip. I hit the floor, sound and light giving way to blissful nothingness. A heartbeat passed. Maybe more. Then I felt the essence thrumming weakly, stirring me from the abyss. Sound returned in muffled fragments of shouts, crackling energy, and rattling and thumping noises. The doors to the Great Hall… Someone was banging on them. Air surged into my lungs. Sensation came next. A deep, throbbing ache bloomed in my throat. Burning pain seared the left side of my waist and back. My eyes fluttered open.
