“When I met Knox, he was just like the others.” She clicks her fingers, and the plate of food she’d thrown at the wall moments ago reappears in front of me again, fully intact as if her tantrum had never happened.
“He was selfish, egotistical and… hungry for power. I’d never met someone so sure of themselves.”
She gestures for me to eat. Without hesitating, I pick up the knife and fork.
“I first arrived here in 1922: the age of jazz bands, flappers, and gin. It was a sordid era, full of secret clubs hidden behind thedoors of libraries—every bit as decadent as it’s written about in the history books.” She smiles fondly at the memory, and it’s like I see her truly for the first time. I see the humanity she gave up.
“I was nineteen when the circus came to town. Three weeks before I was due to be married off to a famous investment banker. He had a yacht and a thick moustache. Nice enough, but I can always see the type behind the eyes. Ray had a mean side, and when I first saw that flash of a temper directed at a poor waiter, I decided that I didn’t like him.”
She continues. “My relationship with Ray was complicated. He adored me, took care of me, but also treated me like I was some kind of fragile doll about to break. Whenever I’d sneak off to attend secret parties with my friends, he’d scour the city to find me, drag me back home, and demand my father to increase my dowry. He said I was a ‘problem child’, spoiled rotten and needed fixing. The least my parents could do was make the effort worth it.
“I tried my hardest to fight against my parents’ wishes, but they were the wealthiest socialites in New York at the time, so it was hard to say no to them. In the eyes of everyone in the world, this was the most ideal match for me.” She sucks at her teeth, keeping her gaze on the fire.
“I had it in my head from a young age that I was going to be a movie star. Everyone always told me my looks were good enough even if my talent wasn’t. But it was hard for women back then, to be looked at as nothing more than a prized piece to be owned by men in suits. After one particularly bad argument with Ray, one that resulted in my very first black eye, I decided the only thing to do was run.
“So, I stole the money he kept hidden in his safe and left New York, never looking back. I hitched rides all the way to the back end of nowhere—Hillsview. The town where nothing bad ever happens to anyone, where everyone is good and kind and knowseach other. I took up the name Celeste and forgot about my old one. I buried my dreams of stardom, cut all ties with my affluent parents, and ended up helping an old lady run a flower shop just so I could make ends meet.
“She was the one who told me about the Circus of Dreams. Without the threat of Ray finding me and dragging me away from a good time, I was eager to have a little fun again. The invite was delivered in the dead of night, well before the morning post. Nobody thought it was strange because most illegal parties were pretty secretive. I headed with a new group of girlfriends to the field where they pitched the tent. We were too dumb and stupid to understand that we were being lured into a vampire feeding ground.”
She pauses as if the memories and emotions are dragging her back to that time and place. I wait for her to continue, my plate now empty and set aside.
“I passed the training with flying colors. The promise of stardom dangled in front of me like a goddamn carrot and I swallowed every fucking lie they told. I trained with Knox, the same as you, but it was far less dramatic. I will spare you the details, but my dreams were a lot tamer than your own. Knox was besotted with me, but I’m ashamed to admit that it was one sided. It wasn’t that he wasn’t charming or that he wasn’t good-looking enough for me; I simply couldn’t see past my own vanity and ambitions to understand what love even meant.”
Celeste sighs. “What you need to understand is that I had entered a realm where everyone seemed to want me or want to be friends with me. I was a star, just like I always dreamed I would be. Together, Knox and I attended countless lavish dinners and fancy balls. Back then, the magic was strong, truly a marvel. The city was mine to take, to shape and mold it into whatever I wanted it to be. I never wanted any of it to end.So when my year was up, I tricked Knox into a promise of an eternity with me. Then I… betrayed his trust.”
Tears fall from her face, landing in her lap soundlessly as she stares down at her hands. “I was cruel to him. And because of my own selfishness, he refused to let me have what I wanted. He let the magic die in this place just to spite me, once he’d found out what I’d done. All of this is one big eternal punishment.”
I hardly know what to say. Right now, I don’t see a vampire capable of murdering me. I see a broken woman who’s been punished for a hundred years by a man who claimed to love her. So that’s why The Five all harped on about how strange it was that he’d forsaken his modern views about Familiars.
“To answer your original question,” Celeste adds, “Knox was very different back then, and he’s very different with you now. With me, it was teenage puppy dog love. Like a toddler with a shiny new toy. He loves it and cares for it for about a week, only to dump it for the next shiny new thing.”
Celeste laughs humorlessly. But I fail to see the funny side of this at all.
“It doesn’t sound like that to me, Knox condemning an entire city of vampires to live without magic because you didn’t want to be with him.” The bond wants me to rip her fucking head from her shoulders, but I tamp it down.
He’s not that into her now.
“Knox is spiteful just for spiteful’s sake,” she says plainly. “He wasn’t bothered by me after a few months. We became close after a decade or so; the best of friends, in fact. Now he’s like an older brother.”
I furrow my brows. “Then why did he not take another Familiar for so long? If your relationship had changed and he didn’t care what you did in the past, why carry on the charade?” I don’t think I’ll ever begin to understand Knox’s motivations.
“I’m not the only one who needed punishment,” she says darkly. She vanishes the empty plate with another snap of her fingers, then rises from the bed to cross the room towards the wardrobe. “Now, enough chit-chat. We need to get you ready for the ball.”
I groan out loud.I don’t think I’ll ever be ready…
26
Danni
By the time we’refinished getting ready, the hollow ache in my chest returns with vigor. The walk to the ballroom takes forever. With each step I take in the ridiculous slippers Celeste made me wear, my pulse races in anticipation and the need to see him.
My entire outfit probably cost more than my apartment back in Hillsview. The bodice is tight and low-cut, the corset slimming my waist down to impossible proportions. In contrast, the skirt billows out, a hoop skirt underneath giving it a distinct bell shape.
I’ve never seen such gorgeous fabric. Stunning, iridescent shades of blue and purple sparkle and shine over the beautiful cream base color, reminding me of a beautiful stained-glass window. After a long moment of marveling over its beauty, I realize the fabric must be enchanted, as the colors seem to shift on their own as if the dress was lit from within.
But when Celeste pulled out the matching gossamer wings… oh boy, I gasped. They bring the whole outfit together, despite being a little heavy on my shoulders.
Tonight, I am a majestic butterfly, a creature of transformation and beauty. I wonder who picked it out for me.
