Nixie
The luxury carpet is soft and squishy under my feet as I walk down the upstairs hallway of the new home Julius and Vonn bought for us. My feet are soundless as they sink into the pile, and I can’t help the sigh that the comfort creates. I’ve never felt anything quite so soothing in my life.
This house is smaller than the others we viewed, yet it feels enormous to me. My first nest is better than I ever hoped for. It has floor-to-ceiling windows, which make it feel airy and bright, but there are amazing curtains that block it all out with the simple push of a button, turning it into a cave. Vonn helped me line the ceiling with gauzy material and fairy lights, and this past weekend, he spoiled me rotten at the nesting store. More blankets and pillows than I could ever imagine fill the space in stunning jewel tones. As I wander down the hallway, just the thought of all the softness waiting for me makes my fingers twitch, and I nearly rush back to the nest. It still needs more of my mates’ scents, and my instincts are on edge, waiting for it to be perfect. But a much deeper instinct pushes me across the palatial home.
Mother’s intuition. I need to check on my baby boy, who’s not such a baby anymore. Asher promised he was excited about moving, but with everything going on, our relationship feels more distant than ever.
Padding on silent feet, I head his way only to find the door to his bedroom closed, which surprises me. In the apartment, he usually left it open at all times, and I try not to take it as a sign of his discomfort. After taking a deep breath, I knock gently, hoping that, amid everything going on, he’ll still want to be near his mom.
The soft rap echoes down the hallway, and I wait with bated breath for him to answer the door.
“Come in,” he shouts, not knowing who’s on the other side. Swinging gently, the door opens without a creak or squeal; the hinges are too well-oiled to make a peep. It strikes me once more how much has changed, how different this space is from what we’re used to. Aside from its sheer size, the home is furnished with top-of-the-line fixtures and decor. I told the guys repeatedly that we didn’t need such luxury, but they insisted.
Asher glances up as I enter his room. It’s nearly as large as our old kitchen-living room combo, and he even has his very own ensuite. There are boxes strewn across the floor, and the drawers on his brand-new dresser are open and waiting for his clothing.
My son’s eyes light up when he sees me, and my heart swells. Asher immediately stops what he’s doing and lunges into my wide-open arms. “Mom! You’re back!” He hugs me so hard that my breath gusts out. “Come check out the jersey Julius bought me!”
Exuberantly, Asher takes my hand and drags me deeper into his bedroom. It’s painted in dark blues and greens, just like he wanted, and I marvel at how quickly the guys have made this house a home. A dream home.When Pack Keene sets their mind to something…
He brings me over to his queen-sized bed where a Scorpion’s jersey is encased in a shadowbox. At first glance, it looks like just a simple jersey, but when I look closer, I notice it has Asher’s name across the top and there are signatures all over it.
“Wow! What are all those?”
His smile widens, and my heart warms. Even while being away from us, Julius is always thinking of ways to make Ash happy. Both guys are naturals at ensuring my son knows he’s just as wanted as I am. Whether it’s bringing home his favorite treats or surprises like this, Asher is a priority for them, not a burden. Honestly, I’m not sure that my kid has ever had so much attention.
“Julius and Vonn got the whole team to sign my jersey! They said it was because I won the exhibition, but I think it’s just ’cause he knew it would make me happy.” His voice is filled with awe, and I do my best to choke back the tears that spring to my eyes.This is what good men look like.
“That’s amazing!” I reach out and ruffle his hair. The color is so similar to my own, soft and a little wild around his head. Sitting on the edge of his bed, I scan the space. He’s made so much progress in just a few short days that it already bears his stamp.Home.And I’m determined to keep him here, happy and safe. Despite my mother’s words echoing in my head.
“How are you feeling about everything, Ash? The move… and everything?” Maybe it’s a little blunt, but we’ve always been honest with one another. I never want Asher to feel like he’s just along for the ride that is my life. I know he was excited for me to court the guys, but this seems to fall so far outside our original plan. Asher was considered and consulted about each step of the plan, but now that it’s really happened, I need to know how he’s doing mentally and emotionally.
“Well, I love my room, and this house is freaking awesome. Did you know it has a home theater? Julius said I can havefriends over whenever I want to. Is that okay, Mom?” Kids are so damn resilient; here I am, overwhelmed and worried when Asher is already planning parties. It’s amazing and humbling at the same time.
“Of course, you can have your friends over. That sounds really fun. I can make some cookies, and you can show them around the house. Maybe even a pool party when it’s warmer.” My son has always been an athlete. He took to swimming like a fish, and dreamed of having his very own pool.
“Yeah, I can’t wait. It’s gonna be amazing. It’s just…" He pauses, glancing off to the side, then stands and returns to working on rearranging his drawers, a clear sign he is uncomfortable.
“You know you can tell me anything, and I’ll do my best to help.”
“Well. It’s just… everything is finally good… the best it’s ever been…" He trails off, and I give him time to collect his thoughts. Although I have a pretty good idea of where this conversation is going, I don’t want to leap to conclusions. “Is that man going to take me away? I don’t want to live with him. I’ve never met him, and I really love it here with you and the guys. Vonn promised to take me skating at an outdoor rink, and Julius told me he’s reserving a luxury box for us at the Scorpions’ next game. I like being a part of their pack. And Mom, I love you more than anything. I can’t imagine a world where we’re not together anymore.”
My heart breaks. The emotion and uncertainty dripping from my son make me want to curl up in a ball. Asher has hit the nail on the head. I can’t imagine a world where we aren’t together, either. Tears creep into my eyes, and I hold my arms out toward my boy.
“I know it’s scary, baby, but I’m going to meet with Julius’s lawyer tomorrow. We are trying to make this all go away legally.”My gaze jumps to the door before I lower my voice to a hoarse whisper. “But I promise, if we can’t, I refuse to lose you. You and me, always my boy. We will run as far and as fast as we need to. Always together, never apart.”
“Always together, never apart,” he repeats, leaping into my outstretched arms and leaning against my shoulder. Soft sniffles come from Ash, and I want to destroy everything that’s making him feel so untethered right now. My mother, stepfather, and his sperm donor had better fucking watch out. There’s nothing like a mama bear protecting her cub.
“You’re mine until the end of time.” The words are a promise to the universe.
Straightening up, he nods. “I love you, Mom. Bigger than the whole wide world.” For a few moments, we sit there, hugging and holding each other, until someone shouts downstairs.
“Nixie! We’re home! And we come bearing news!” The loudness makes Asher pull back, and I let him go, although I want to snatch him right back up and hold him in my arms like I did when he was a baby. When I could make all of his problems go away with a diaper change and a bottle
“Wanna go see what’s up?” I ask him, but he shakes his head.
“You go check it out. I gotta finish putting my clothes away, but let me know if it’s anything fun like ice cream, ’cause then I do wanna come down.” I let out a little snort of laughter. No matter how heavy the problems, ice cream always makes it better. After ruffling Asher’s hair, one last time, I wander out of the room and make my way downstairs.
What the puck is going on now?
