CHAPTER 13
THE ANCIENT LIBRARY
Nesilhan
The Obsidian Archivesmells like forgotten centuries—dust and decay and something older, something that makes my skin prickle with awareness of how small I am against the weight of accumulated knowledge. Crystallized shadows form the walls, each one containing preserved texts that shimmer when touched, releasing whispers of magic long dormant.
I can't stop replaying the scene I witnessed from my window - Kaan confronting Yasar in the courtyard about the binding, their shadows clashing in violent fury. For a moment, a dark part of me hoped Kaan would end it, would kill Yasar and free me from this magical chain, even if it meant my own death. But then Yasar's words rang out - if he dies, I die too. There is no escape in death.
So I turned from the window, grief and desperation warring within me, and sought answers in the ancient texts of the Obsidian Archives. There must be a way to break this binding without losing myself in the process.
I haven't looked at Kaan in three days. Not since that battle in the courtyard. Not since I almost wished for my husband to commit murder for a chance at my freedom. The memory scalds through me—the brutal way they'd fought, the cruel satisfaction in Yasar's eyes when he revealed the truth of the binding. Kaan can never kill him without sacrificing me.
My hands shake as I pull another scroll from its resting place. The parchment crackles, threatening to disintegrate, but I steady my light magic into a gentle glow that illuminates the faded script without burning it.
"You've been here for nine hours." Emir's voice cuts through my concentration. I don't turn around.
"I'm not hungry."
"I brought tea, not food." He sets the cup beside me, careful not to disturb the organized chaos of my research. "Kaan asked?—"
"I don't care what Kaan asked." The words come out sharper than intended. "Tell him I'm busy." I've been avoiding Kaan for three days, out of guilt. I should have told him I kissed Yasar but the night I admitted about the binding and seeing how angry he was I let him believe that Yasar kissed me first. Now I can't face him. Or Elçin for that matter. I had forced her to stay calm after she woke up from the sleep that Yasar put her into. I asked her for time to tell Kaan first and she gave it to me. But, she storms around like she wants to kill someone, that someone being Yasar.
Emir is silent for a long moment. When he speaks again, his voice carries an unexpected softness. "He's not sleeping. Neither are you. Whatever happened between you?—"
"He tried to kill Yasar," I say flatly. "Because of the binding. Because of what Yasar did to me."
Emir inhales sharply. "What did Yasar do?"
I close my eyes against the memory. "He knocked Elçin out. The night he returned from battle saying he had some logistics to run. He lied so he could speak to me alone. And I—" My voice cracks. "I kissed him, Emir. I kissed him first."
Silence stretches between us, heavy with implication.
"That's how the binding works, isn't it?" Emir says finally. "It compels you. Draws you to him."
I nod miserably. "And now Kaan knows. He tried to kill Yasar for it, but Yasar said if he dies, I die too. The binding ensures it."
"Shadows." Emir exhales. "Nesilhan, I'm so sorry. But this isn't your fault. Yasar manipulated you."
"I need to break it," I whisper. " I'll always be drawn to Yasar, always fear that one day I'll succumb to it again. I have to find a way to sever the binding without killing either of us."
Emir nods slowly. "What have you found so far?"
I gesture to the ancient texts surrounding me. "Mentions of the Sundering Ritual. The magic that divided shadow and light 1500 years ago. It created soul-bindings as a side effect, bindings that can only be broken three ways..." I swallow hard. "Death with magical backlash. A stronger binding. Or the Twilight Convergence."
"The Twilight Convergence?"
"A ritual requiring perfect harmony between light and shadow magic, wielded by two people who trust each other absolutely. Performed at the moment of greatest magical balance." I laugh bitterly. "Kaan and I barely trust each other to occupy the same room right now. Harmonizing our magic is impossible."
"You could rebuild that trust," Emir says quietly. "With time. With honesty about what's happened."
I shake my head. "We're broken, Emir. In so many ways. This binding has poisoned everything."
"Then we keep searching," Emir says firmly. "The archive is vast. The Twilight Convergence may not be the only answer."
"I know." I close my eyes briefly. "But I'm running out of options. The binding grows stronger every day. I can feel it, even now, pulling me toward him. If I don't break it soon..."
I don't finish the thought aloud. I don't have to. We both know the price of succumbing to a magical binding. The slow erosion of self, the loss of agency, until nothing remains but the compulsion. A gilded cage is still a cage.
