Pivoting, her eyes locked on mine. “What do I think?”
“I didn’t drink them. I thought about it, but I didn’t.”
She rubbed her lips together. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Yes, I do.” I motioned to the couch. “Please sit.”
“I’m glad you called.” Choosing the chair, she crossed her legs. It took every ounce of resistance not to stare at them and to keep my eyes on her face. “Would you like me to inform housekeeping not to replenish your mini bar?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m flying home tomorrow.”
“Oh, I see.” She glanced down, then back up at me. “What’s going on, Joz? What did I say or do that made you take off like that?”
Tell her. Tell her about what you did to Caroline.
I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. The shame of that night slithered over me like an oil slick. Caroline’s pleading voice, begging me to reconsider breaking up with her. The truth was, I’d been trying to tell her for a while that our relationship was over, but she’d been so fragile, soneedy, that I’d let it go on for far longer than I should have.
You destroyed me, you know that?
High on heroin, I’d hung up without responding. The next morning, the news reached me that Caroline had OD’d.
I’d never told a soul what really happened that night. Straight after Caroline’s funeral, I’d checked myself into rehab and poured my innermost thoughts out into a notebook that became more of a therapist to me than those at the facility. In my one-on-one sessions, I’d focused on my need to get clean for me, never sharing that the catalyst had been the death of a woman I blamed myself for. I wasn’t the one to push that drug into her arm, but I might as well have been.
If I told Aspen, though, she’d look at me differently, and, selfish fucker that I was, I didn’t want that. I couldn’t do it.
“I wanted to say sorry.”
“What for?”
I hitched a shoulder. “I shouldn’t have pursued you. I had no business flirting with you and kissing you. It was disrespectful and wrong. I think you were right all along. It’s best if we keep things between us on a professional footing.”
She gaped at me in obvious shock. A jagged crack worked its way down the middle of my heart. I didn’t want a professional relationship. I wanted so much more than that, but I’d backed myself into a corner. Better Aspen thought of me as a cunt than finding out the truth.
“So, it was all in the chase.” Hurt weaved through her every word. I winced. I fucking hated myself right now.
“No. I wanted you. None of that was fake. But when we crossed that line and kissed, I realized my mistake. Starting up a physical relationship will interfere with our professional one, and for me, music will always come first. I hope you understand.”
Her expression shifted from confused, then hurt, to utterly closed off. Squaring her shoulders, she leveled me with a stare that was every ounce the CEO.
“Don’t worry. I won’t make things awkward. You signed with the label, not me.” She rose to her feet, her smile brittle. “You’re free to pretend it never happened. I already have.” Striding to the door, she gripped the handle and paused. “Have a safe flight back to London. My people will be in touch.”
After slipping into the hallway, the door clicked shut behind her.
My people will be in touch.
Until now, I’d dealt solely with Aspen. Not any longer. It was for the best.
Yet if that were true, why did I feel as though I’d made a horrible mistake?
Chapter 15
Aspen
So, he wasn’t different after all…
The fartherI traveled from Joz’s hotel suite, the greater the surge of anger rose within me.Hechasedme. Hekissedme.I didn’t start any of this, and now he wanted to pull the professional card?
Fine.Fine. If he wanted professional, he’d get professional.
