“Me too,” he says with a flirty wink before disappearing into the bathroom.
And just like that, I fall even harder for him. But I don’t tell him.
I have never told anyone outside of my family that I love them. I want to say I felt in love before, but I never felt like this. This all-consuming need to be with him every second of the day. To give up my dreams to follow him wherever he goes, which is a scary thought all in itself. I have always wanted to be a broadcaster for the NHL, but I almost said fuck it when Jude called. If Dawson chooses the Chargers, I want to go. I’ll keep my podcast, and I’ll be okay. I’ll still be deep in the hockey world.
Though that isn’t what I want.
But like the tattoo on his thigh says, I can change… Can’t I?
Would he let me?
Does he want me to follow?
I want to ask. I want to tell him I love him, but what if he doesn’t love me? I feel like he does. I mean, he looks at me like I’m the only person he sees. He is the first to introduce me as his girlfriend, and he loves my crazy mother and aunt.
And the sex is really good.
I can’t help but worry that it’s a big part of this.
Even as I think that, though, it doesn’t track. This thing between us has always been about the connection we share. But I worry if I tell him I love him and he doesn’t love me, I’ll look needy.
I should have left my walls up when it came to him.
Suddenly, his lips press to my cheek, and I smile as I tilt my head back to look at him. He smiles, his dimples on full display as he tells me, “Sorry, I had to get one more kiss.”
Then he presses his lips to mine, and I melt into a puddle.
My walls had no chance against the bull that is Dawson Sinclair.
And I don’t regret a damn thing.
The Rowe Report: Episode 1059: Having the Two-Man Advantage.
Matty Haverbrooke: Coming out and admitting who I loved was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I used to hit the ice and just wish I could tell him how proud I was of him. How, when I scored a goal, I wanted him to know I wanted to hug him first.
Wells Lemiere: I wanted all that, but he wouldn’t come out. So even though the thing between us was something neither of us had ever felt before, we parted ways.
Matty Haverbrooke: He was ready to marry someone else, and I couldn’t let it happen. I had to change. I had to become the man he needed off the ice.
Wells Lemiere: He was already that man, but he had to realize it.
Ambrosia Mercer: It’s hard, though, when fear gets in the way.
Wells Lemiere: Absolutely.
Ambrosia Mercer: My boyfriend has this amazing butterfly tattoo on his thigh that has the word metamorphosis underneath it, and when I first saw it, I was totally obsessed—hell, I still am—but I look at it now and realize that I’m ready for that change. That the fear can’t hold me back.
Matty Haverbrooke: Exactly, I couldn’t let the fear win. I had to let love. Our love. And now, he’s my forever.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
Ambrosia
An hour later, we arrive at the condo Dawson and Louis share. It’s behind First Horizon Field, where the Nashville Sounds play. On the balcony are three chairs, where the guys say they sit and watch the games when they’re feeling in a baseball mood. Jennings is more of a fan than Dawson and Louis. The condo is adorable and screams of two bachelors whose mom came over to make the house a home. Baylor used a bunch of deep greens and browns, with black-and-white photos of the family all over the place. The furniture is totally lived-in, with rips and stains, and the number of hockey tape balls is insane.
They are everywhere, and I’m sort of surprised they haven’t appeared at my place. We all picked up ramen from a place by the field before coming up, and then we gathered on the couch to eat. The conversation was flowing, Louis asking me how my podcast was going, and then Dawson asking how songwriting was going for Jennings. I guess Louis and Dawson talk so much, they don’t have much to say. That is until Dawson brings up the Chargers deal.
