I nod. “Yeah. It was before we met.”
His eyes go wide, like cartoon wide. “Healwayssaid you weren’t his type.”
I actually laugh out loud, shaking my head. “His type.” I mimic air quotes. “Please. His type was any woman who’d put up with his ego long enough to make out with him in the cafeteria.”
He shakes his head slowly. “Wow.”
We eat quietly for a few bites, the sound of forks against plates filling the silence. Then, without really planning to, I say, “I would’ve said yes, you know.”
He looks up mid-bite. “What?”
“If you’d asked me out before graduation,” I clarify, my voice steady. “I would’ve said yes.”
Matthew shakes his head immediately. “You don’t have to do that.”
I frown. “Do what?”
He rolls his eyes like I’m missing something obvious. “There’s a reason I started working out and eating well right after college, Brooke. Iknowthe kind of guy I was back then wasn’t good enough for the kind of girl you were.”
My brows shoot up. “Was? So, I was too good for you then, but what, once I got knocked up with no insurance and a decent place to live, my value went down? Or didyourvalue go up when you grew muscles and a bank account?”
His jaw tightens, and he shakes his head. “You’re taking it wrong. I just meant… you didn’t see me like that back then.”
I nod slowly. “And tell me, what exactly did I see you as?”
He looks away, his voice quieter now. “A friend.”
I can’t help it, I laugh. Not a real one, more like a I-can’t-believe-this-idiot laugh. “You know I broke up with José for you, right?”
His head snaps toward me so fast I almost hear his neck crack. “What?”
I reach for my water and take a long sip, letting him sit there and sweat a little.
I rub my lips together, dragging it out just a beat longer before I finally say, “He wanted us to get an apartment together off campus. But he didn’t feel comfortable taking that step while I was so close to you.”
Matthew blinks. “What?”
I tilt my head, watching his face shift as the words sink in. “He asked me to end the friendship,” I say simply. “I said no. And then I dumped him.”
His mouth actually falls open. It’s almost funny,almost.
I give him a sad little smile. “Guess you resented me for no reason then.”
Matthew doesn’t say anything. He just sits there, shoulders heavy, jaw tight. And I can tell, he knows the therapist is right. And I’m right.
The thing is, his behaviour lately… it’s been strange. Not him. He’s never been the “stay home and raise my babies while I bring home the bacon” type. And yes, Iknowthat’s how a lot of men are. I’ve dealt with enough of them to recognize the signs. But Matthew never used to be like that. Still isn’t. He basically told me to stay home and do nothing. He’d work and still do most of the chores.
He didn’t make a face when I mentioned the other women in my new moms’ group going back to work. He didn’t judge them or say a single negative thing. It’s just me he seems to have a problem with.Me.
And I think… maybe it isn’t resentment. Not fully. Maybe it’s insecurity.
About me. Aboutus.
I let out a long breath. I’ve been telling the girls what’s been happening, because I needed advice, so sue me. Zara thought he might be trying to control me with money. Sheera thought maybe he’s just a traditional man like her husband. And Becks… Becks said he might be scared. Scared that if I have the choice, I’ll leave.
At the time, I thought Sheera might be right. But now… it’s starting to sound a lot like Becks hit the nail on the head.
I lower my head, staring at the pasta I’ve stopped eating a while ago. The truth stings.
