Sean was quiet and let her continue.
She paused for a moment, her breathing shaky and he reached over and began slowly rubbing up and down her arms.
“I have the BRCA-1 gene, and that puts me at a pretty high risk of ovarian cancer. I spent months going through all these horrible cancer treatments and I couldn’t handle the thought of another cancer showing up and having to go through everything again. Especially if there was any way I could avoid it.”
“What a nightmare.”
“Tell me about it,” she clenched her hands together, “it was a super hard decision. If I didn’t already have cancer, I would have made a different decision, but that wasn’t my reality. I decided to have preventive surgery and not have to worry about ovarian cancer. The giant downside of course…” She paused, and he nodded his head.
“This is what you were talking about at the fest. Why you said you can’t have kids. Oh, Nicole.” His heart ached for her. His brown eyes filled with tears.
She nodded. Her tears had dried now.
“You’re so brave,” He took her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. She didn’t meet his eyes as she began talking.
“Before you say anything,” she began “I need to make this clear. You may say that you don’t want to have kids, and that it’s a non-issue. I’ll be happy to hear that. But one day we might be together and you might change your mind. You’re younger than me.”
Sean couldn’t stop himself from slowly shaking his head no.
Nicole smiled slightly. “The point for me is, I finally understand, everything has risks. I’ve been so focused on trying to make sure I never have cancer again that I forgot about the risks worth taking. Nothing is a sure thing, but if I’m not willing to risk my heart for you, then what’s the point? Then the only guarantee I have in life is that I’ll never have you.”
Nicole looked into his eyes, and he felt the warmth of her look suffused through his whole body.
She took a deep breath and continued, “I made a promise to myself that if you were willing to come here and listen to me, that I’d risk it all for you. I love you, Sean Harper.”
Sean’s heart beat out of his chest. He pulled her to him and crushed his lips against hers.. She moaned a little and his tongue slid into her mouth. He wanted to taste her every day for the rest of his life. They kissed harder and he wanted to be deep inside her. He reached up and caressed her check. He pulled away and she was panting; her eyes were on fire.
He put his forehead against hers, “I love you too,” he said, stunned by the amazing turn of events this day had been. He pulled her into his lap and began nibbling on her earlobe.
“That feels so good,” she said and he rocked her against his jeans.
Chapter Thirty
NICOLE
Her life had been a runaway train the last few years and now she finally felt like she was on the right track, only now she was on a roller coaster, and she was slowly inching up to the top of the mountain. She took a deep breath and put his hand on her button-down shirt. Nicole placed his fingers on the first button and they undid it together. She was straddling his lap in a pair of thin loungewear pants. She could feel his arousal against her own growing wetness. She ran her hands through his hair as he slowly unbuttoned her shirt.
She enjoyed her position of control over him. She felt powerful in a way she had never felt before. She was in charge. He loved her. Flutters filled her chest as he reached for the last button. Now her shirt was open, exposing her lacy black bra. She shrugged off her shirt and flung it onto a chair. She looked down at herself and then she looked at Sean. His eyes were focused on her lacy bra.
The cup on the right was filled fully, but the cup on the left was only filled halfway at best. He reached tentatively to her left breast. She stilled as he slowly rubbed the lace. Her nipple stood at a peak and the rough feel of the lace only enhanced her desire. She moaned a little as he pulled gently.
He kept his hand on her breast and he leaned in, kissing along her collarbone, slowly making his was down to her breast. He kissed her over the bra, lightly teasing her nipple with his teeth. She ran her hands through his hair as he worked. She rocked slowly, letting him attend to her a while longer, then when she felt ready, she tapped his shoulder. He stopped and looked up at her. She undid her bra and tossed it with her shirt.
Sean’s eyes were large as he took her all in. He carefully traced a small scar on the far side of her breast with his thumb, then he gently kneaded her breast. She nodded and he leaned forward and softly kissed the line of her scar. Then he began kneading her right breast while he continued to lavish attention on her broken breast. He took it into his mouth, his tongue swirled around her nipple. Then he lightly flicked it with his tongue. She ran her fingers through his hair and looked down at him. She was rocking harder against him now. Her lips were feeling engorged as they rubbed against his zipper. He paused for a moment, breathing air onto her heated breast. Then he went to work on the other side repeating the process. She felt so full of desire, and feeling desired that she thought light would burst through her.
“You are so beautiful.” He said, his voice husky.
Her eyes were glossy again, as tears welled up, she was so grateful she had taken this risk. She pushed up Sean’s shirt, taking her hands and running them over his abs until she was squeezing his nipple.
“Hell yes, darling,”
She squeezed his other nipple, and they came together for a kiss. Their tongues intertwining faster now, her nerve endings tingling in response to the smell and taste of him on her.
“Should we go to the bedroom?” she whispered in his ear.
“I don’t know if I can stop long enough to move.” He unbuttoned his pants, and she slid her hand down gripping his manhood.
“Nicole,” he moaned.
