“We did have quite a few late students this morning,” Nancy remarked.
“I didn’t notice with all the major crises that happened all morning long.”
“Sorry I didn’t come up and say hi at the fest. I saw you were working where the food was, but we went out for a big breakfast beforehand, so Harold and I didn’t eat.”
“No worries, I didn’t even see you there.”
“We came mostly to enter the pet costume contest. Sassy dressed as a pirate queen.”
Nicole squinted at her co-worker. “You mean you dressed Sassy up as a pirate queen.”
“Actually, it was all Harold. He’s in a pug parent group on Facebook, and one of the members posted patterns for Halloween costumes sized for pugs. He downloaded the pattern and worked with Masie’s Sewing Shop to bring it to life.”
“Oh my gosh! That’s so cute! I wish I had seen you guys!”
“Hang on, let me show you the pictures.” Nancy put on her readers and pulled up the pictures on her phone.
Nicole leaned over and looked as Nancy thumbed through her pictures.
“Second place! How fun! What was the prize?”
“A growler of our choice from Hop’s Heaven and a free grooming from Barkley’s Mobile Grooming.”
“Very nice. Tell Harold congrats from me.”
Nancy looked through her phone again and closed it with a sigh. “Harold loves our little Sassy so much. He takes her with him everywhere, makes her food, and is super involved in the pug parent group. Don’t get me wrong, I do love our Sassy, but I don’t think of her like our child.”
“I get that. At the end of the day, Sassy is a dog.”
“Right, I just feel bad.”
“How so?”
“When I see how devoted he is to Sassy, it makes me think that he would have made such a great dad.”
“Oh?” was all that Nicole could muster to say.
“We’ve been married for over thirty years now, and there was a time when we could have pursued why we weren’t able to have kids, but I just wasn’t built for that. I couldn’t handle going through tons of testing and maybe even having surgery. We were happy. We are happy. Harold had always said all he needed was our family of two.”
Nicole swallowed hard. Nancy and Harold’s many years of marriage had been proof to her that you didn’t need to have kids to love and be loved and sustain a marriage. Had she been all wrong? Her stomach clenched and she felt nausea beginning. If Nancy and Harold had regrets, wouldn’t Sean as well?
Nancy grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter and dabbed her eyes. “But sometimes, when I see him staring at a dad and his son, he gets this look in his eyes, and I think, 'You did this. You could have tried and maybe Harold would be spoiling a grandkid these days instead of a silly little dog.'”
Nicole gave Nancy a hug. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m sure Harold has no regrets.” She hoped she was right, and that Harold didn’t wish he’d been a father. But the whole conversation was hitting too close to home for her and she knew all the modern technology in the world could never restore her missing ovaries. She could never give Sean children.
Nicole and Nancy were both quiet for the remainder of the day. Nicole waved goodbye to her coworker and walked home slowly. She’d been waffling about whether to get back to Sean. Talking with Nancy had only confirmed her worst fears. She didn’t want to be the one who robbed Sean of having his own kids.
Her stomach sank. Was this what it felt like to love someone enough to let them go? She wanted to be selfish, to call him right now and make plans for him to come over and do everything he did to her the night of the council meeting. She wanted him to take her in his arms and tell her that all he needed was her and that together, they would have a life filled with adventures and love. She reeled in her wishful thinking. That wasn’t the life she was meant to have. He deserved the chance to have a real family. All she could offer him was her companionship. There was no way her company was enough to build a lifetime together.
Chapter Twenty-Three
SEAN
In a very uncharacteristic move. Sean hadn’t set an alarm for Monday morning. After the fest had ended, he’d had to pack up everything and head back to Jesse’s Pub. Then all the work of the engagement party after the day at the brewery had almost done him in.
He’d still sent Nicole a quick text before going to bed, and then he’d crawled into bed and slept for a solid twelve hours. When he finally woke up, he checked his phone, anticipating a response from Nicole only to find no new texts. Maybe his phone needed to refresh. He turned off the Wi-Fi and then turned it back on. Still no text or missed call from Nicole. Well, maybe she’d been busy and hadn’t had a chance to reply yet.
He wasn’t sure exactly how often people were allowed to text each other when dating, or whatever it was he was doing with Nicole. Then again, he’d never been someone who had to follow the trends. He’d wait until she was probably home from workand give her a call. For now, he had paperwork to do and phone calls to make. Hopefully, that work would keep his mind off Nicole, or perhaps she’d send him a quick reply in the meantime.
