“Can’t do what?”
“Prep it.”
I frown in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Every time I pick it up, I start gagging. I just can’t do it.” She glances at her phone. “And Bryce is going to be home for dinner soon.” She groans loudly. “I am the worst wife ever.”
“I’m pretty sure that label goes to women who cheat on their husbands, so unless you’re doing that, you’re fine.”
“What?!”
“Are you cheating on Bryce?”
“Are you crazy? No!”
I shrug. “Then you’re not the worst wife ever.”
Chapter Ten
Sherese
Ava stares at me. “I can’t believe you would even say that.”
I shrug. “Sure, you can.” I take off my leather jacket and drop it on the back of the chair. “I’ll do it for you.”
“Do what?” she asks, turning around.
“Prep the chicken.”
Her eyes narrow. “Do you know how?”
“How hard can it be?” After a quick Google chat, I learn the basics of cutting off the fat and undesirable parts. Soon, the chicken pieces are sizzling in olive oil. We season the chicken, and Ava prepares the tortillas and the cream mixture to go on top. When the chicken is cooked, I cut off a piece and give it to her to try. She takes a bite and then pales and runs for the trash can and spits it out. “Is it that bad?” I ask, staring back at the pan. “What did we do?”
It’s right then that the front door opens. If the alpha is surprised to see me in his home, he doesn’t show it. Ava whirls around. “Bryce, you’re not supposed to be here yet.” There’s full-on panic in her voice, and I watch as he frowns even as he walks over to her. I glance over at her and notice she looks like she’s going to cry. I frown, trying to figure out what’s going on with her.
“Hey, Love,” he says easily, bending low to kiss her. I turn away and flip the chicken again. It’s time for me to escape. After flipping the chicken, I grab my jacket off the back of the chair. I frown when I see that Ava is crying. Knowing Bryce will take care of her, I walk silently towards the front door and let myself out. I close it without making a sound and start the trip back toHunter’s. I don’t walk as fast as I usually would. The sun is just starting to set, and it’s a beautiful night here in Phoenix. I let myself just take in the sights, something I haven’t done in a very long time. I love the red rocks here and the cacti and the desert flowers. There’s a wild beauty to all of it. It’s like each thing that grows here in the desert defies the odds. It shouldn't be growing, and it shouldn't be beautiful. And yet it is. I figure there’s a metaphor for life in there somewhere, and I almost snort out loud. Ava would laugh at me if she were with me right now. By the time I get to Hunter’s, it’s starting to get dark. I wonder absently if Ava was able to pull off her dinner. I'll have to text her later and ask.
When I get inside, Hunter’s still on the couch. I walk past him, intent on heading to my room. “Want to watch?”
Hunter’s question surprises me. It’s on the tip of my tongue to decline, but I realize that I don’t want to be in my room all night by myself like usual. I walk over to the couch and sit down, keeping plenty of space between us. “You watch fights often?”
“Not as often as I’d like,” he admits, surprising me.
Neither of us says anything after that, and I find myself relaxing and actually enjoying myself. I’m not a fan of fighting, but it’s nice to not be by myself. When the fights get really gory, I just look down. Hunter catches me at one point. “Want me to change the channel?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re watching it. If I don’t want to, I’ll head to my room. I like watching and learning; I just don’t like when they start wailing on each other.”
I’m not sure how long we watch, but my eyes start to get heavy at some point. I realize I should head back to my room, but I’m comfortable. More than that, I’m not alone. I choose not to think too much about that and just enjoy this moment. When I open my eyes sometime later, there’s a blanket over me. I blink and look down at it, not remembering putting it over me.I glance at my phone and realize it’s almost midnight. I yawn and stretch. “I’m heading to bed.” Hunter nods, not looking away from the screen. I stand up and head towards my bedroom, but stop right at the edge of the hallway. “Thanks, Hunter.”
Dark eyes meet mine for a moment. “Get some sleep.” He turns back to the TV, and the moment is over. I make my way to my bed, feeling more exhausted than I have in a while. It feels really good. Between my run this morning and my fight this afternoon, I’m looking forward to actually sleeping well tonight.
The nightmares come that night. Whether it’s from the exhaustion, the fight with Alicia, or just remembering today, something triggers the nightmares I haven’t had in years. I open the door. “Hey, Mom. I’m ho—” The words dry up in my mouth as I take in the scene before me. There’s blood everywhere. “Mom?” I’m frozen, unable to move. But then I hear a sound, and it helps unstick my feet from the floor. I race through the house, slipping on the blood on the wooden floor. I finally find her in her room. She’s lying on the floor, just steps from her bed. I see her phone on the side table and know that’s what she’d been going for. “Mom!” My voice cracks, and I drop to my knees next to her. I roll her over. Her eyes are vacant, staring up at the ceiling. “Mom? Mom!” I shake her, but she’s gone. “Mom!” I scream at her. Darkness surrounds me, and then they come, just like every other time. I scream and try to get away, but they’re too strong and too fast. “No! No! Stop! Please!” A scream rips from my throat.My eyes fly open, and I jerk upright in bed. I can’t catch my breath as panic races through me. I look around the room and try to find my equilibrium. “It’s just a dream.” I wrap the blanket around me tightly and try to slow my racing heart. Tears burn the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I haven’t had that nightmare in years. I’d had them every night when the vampires had first taken me. Eventually, they faded. Tonight, though, it was too real. I felt like it hadjust happened. I adjust my pillows, so I’m sitting against the headboard, and allow myself to remember that horrific night.
It wouldn’t be until the police came that I would realize how truly bad the situation was. I’d stood huddled in the corner of her room for hours while waiting for the police and then the coroner. I remember the looks, the hushed whispers. I hadn’t known at the time what was going on, only snippets of conversation. All I knew was that my mom, the center of my entire world, was dead. I was all alone in the world now. And yet, that wasn’t the worst of it. The worst part was the bone-deep fear because I knew my mom hadn’t done this to herself. Nobody just bleeds out on their own. But who or what had done this to her? I didn’t know, and that terrified me more than anything else. Children’s services had shown up and asked questions, questions I didn’t have answers to. I just wanted my mom back; I wanted the world to stop. My stomach cramps, and I try to take a deep breath. I stand from my bed and throw off the blanket. That was the day I’d learned what a truly horrible place this world is. I glance at my phone and see it’s only a little after four, but I can’t stay in bed any longer.
I change into running clothes and grab my phone and headphones. I make my way through the house, not stopping until I’m out of the house. I jog down the steps and towards the woods. I feel eyes on me, but I ignore them. It's just the shifters running patrol. I turn on music with a pulsing beat and start a punishing pace. With every step, I force memories best left forgotten far, far away. I’m barely conscious of the forest flying past me. The problem with running as a vampire now is that I don’t tire. I can run and run and run, and I do just that. I leap over fallen trees, avoid branches, and jump over a creek. The world blurs around me. At one point, my heart hurts so much, I think I’m having a heart attack. But I know what this is. This is pain in its purest form. It’s pain I haven’t let myself feel in years.I don’t want to feel it now. I have no idea why it’s coming back now. It’s been years since I’ve allowed myself to feel any pain over what happened to my mom. I suck in a strangled breath and force the memories away. I trip over something and curse myself.Stop it! You’re stronger than this!And I am. So, I take those memories and twist them into a tight ball and shove them deep down where they can’t hurt me. I let that soulless feeling anchor me.I am a vampire now. There is no going back. I have no emotion, and I have no memories of anything else.As I continue to run, I remind myself that it’s better this way. This way, nothing and no one can hurt me ever again. I broke once, and I won’t ever allow that to happen again.
I finally finish my run and make my way back to the house. The sun’s just about to break past its barrier and make its ascent into the sky. It’s time for me to get inside. For just a moment, I turn before I head inside. I watch the sun and remember that watching the sunrise with my mom used to be my favorite thing in the world. And now, I can’t even do that. Before it breaks through, I open the door and head inside. Hunter’s in the kitchen. I can hear him, but I don’t stop to talk to him. I think he might say something, but I ignore it and keep walking. When I get to my room, I close and lock the door and then make my way to the bathroom, where I take a scalding hot shower.
