The screen door banged behind us as we trooped into the kitchen. Their turn-of-the-century, casually elegant cottage was filled with light. After retirement, Bert had become obsessed with interior design. Their place was in a constant state of renovation.
“Thanks, I’d appreciate it. It’s hot as hell out there, and the load-up at the feed store took a while.” It wasn’t until the words were out of my mouth that I realized I’d given them an opening big enough to drive a semi through. I caught the pointed look between the two of them and sighed internally.
The interrogation was about to begin.
“I heard that some family member is living out at Sissy’s place. Have you met them?” Faust was going for innocent, but the sing-song tone gave him away. Good thing Bert was the lawyer in the family.
“Yeah, we’ve met. He’s a nephew or a cousin or something. Seems like a nice guy.” Faust handed me the tools as I asked for them, but in exchange, I had to ignore his pointed looks. “I can’t work if you’re gonna stare at me.”
“You’re under a sink. How do you know where I’m looking?”
“Because I can feel your eyes.”
Faust ignored what I said and plowed on, “Before you got here, I got an interesting phone call.”
And here it comes.
When I glanced out from under the cabinet, I saw he’d parked himself on a kitchen chair right next to me. He was settled in for the long haul. I scooted out from under the sink, grabbed some plumber’s tape, and Faust pounced on the moment. I’d known it was coming, but I’d decided to be a rip-the-Band-Aid-off guy.
“Nancy called because Lauren texted her because Jace was working at the feed store today. He told his sister a wild story.”
“What was the story?”
“Nancy said Jace told Lauren that…Jasper… Is that right?” Faust paused long enough for me to confirm my new neighbor’s name. “That’s a name you don’t often hear anymore. I like it. Anyway, Jace claimed that Jasper called you Daddy in the middle of the store.”
“It was a joke. And meant exactly nothing.”
“Did you laugh?”
“I laughed on the inside.” It was a struggle, but I kept myself as deadpan as possible, but Faust just scoffed at my deflection and stared me down. I felt every second that ticked off in my bones until I couldn’t take it anymore. The old man won. “Fine, he’s my neighbor, and I think he’s a funny guy. Jasper was joking, and it’s not any deeper than that.”
“Is he cute?” Bert asked.
“Why? You looking to trade in the old man?”
Faust narrowed his eyes at my question and interjected, “It’s been thirty-five years. That old man is stuck with me until one of us is dead, and then the haunting begins. And he better not bring some young thing in after I’m gone.” Bert crossed the room to plant a firm kiss on Faust’s mouth. Then returned for a second lingering one.
“What are you doing? I don’t want to see a make-out session from my almost parents. I’m too young to understand.”
“But we aren’t your actual parents, so it’s perfectly fine. Those lovely people are enjoying their retirement hours from here. But have you seen Faust? He’s hot.”
“Oh my god, stop. Never say that again. And, no, it’s definitely not fine. You’re practically my surrogate parents, so all the same rules apply.”
“Such a child.”
“Yes, that’s correct. I am your almost child,” I said with a grin. Both of them smiled back.
My parents loved and accepted me, but they hadn’t understood the “gay stuff.” Faust and Bert had stepped in for all of that. I’d been doing their yard work since I was big enough to push a mower, and when I began to question my sexuality in high school, they helped me figure out how to tell my parents. I’d be lost without them.
“At least tell us why he’s here?” Faust asked.
“He’s turning Sissy’s place into a bed and breakfast. If his coming and going is anything to go by, he’s got to be making progress. He was getting plants at the feed store and, yes, before you try to weasel it out of me, I’m dropping them off when I leave here.”
“Please tell me he has good taste. Sissy would roll over in her grave if he turned it into a farmhouse chic monstrosity,” Bert yelled from the other room.
“He turned the bunkhouse into his apartment, which looked nice. Super…I dunno…cozy? Is that a style?”
“Close enough. So you’ve been in the house?” Faust asked with fake innocence.
