“Sorry,” I murmur. “Could we, um…could we talk for a second?”
He nods, following me a few more steps away from the noise with a knot between his brows.
I stare at my hands for a second and then meet his eyes. I have no idea how to start, so I’m grateful when he does.
“You’ve looked miserable every time you thought no one was watching tonight…” he muses, gently prodding at my open wound.
“That obvious, huh?”
“Only if you were paying attention.”
And of course, he was.
I take a deep breath that feels like sandpaper. “Look, you’re a really good man, Jacob.”
He flinches. “Wow. Going straight for the ‘good man’ speech. Not a great sign.”
Now it’s my turn to flinch. “You deserve someone who doesn’t come to a party with you only to spend half the night wondering what another man is thinking across the room.”
The admission burns in the back of my throat, but he deserves the truth.
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t look surprised and somehow that makes it so much worse.
“I like you,” I add. “I really, genuinely, like you. You’re kind and thoughtful and you rented a freaking limo for a five-block trip because you wanted the night to feel special. You wanted me to feel valued.” A weak laugh escapes me. “That’s the kind of thing most women dream about.”
“But not you?” he asks.
“No, it’s not that. I could be happy with you. Anyone could be happy with a man like you. But the problem is…there’s someone else I don’t know how to stop choosing, even when I’m trying really hard not to.”
His mouth tightens. “Is him, isn’t it? Archer?”
I close my eyes as if I can pretend I didn’t just see and hear him say that.
How fucking obvious was it?
I’m mortified.
“The point is,” I say, trying to change the subject. “I’m not the girl you want.”
He lets out a slow breath and for a second, I can see he wants to argue with me, even now, but he doesn’t. He nods instead. “Thank you for not letting me be your placeholder.”
My throat tightens. “I’m really, really sorry.”
A humorless smile tugs at his mouth. “At least promise me you’ll write a really good article about breaking my heart?”
I huff out a teary laugh. “Yeah,” I promise. “It’ll be the best one, yet.”
“Pippa!” Cat’s tinny voice rings out from down the street and her heels clack as she races toward us. “There you are, I was looking everywhere.”
“Goodnight, Pippa,” Jacob says, taking my hand to press one last chaste kiss to the back of my palm. “And good luck.”
Cat catches her breath as she slows to a walk and looks between Jacob walking away and me standing alone on the sidewalk trying not to fall apart. “Did you just?—”
I nod and a sob breaks free from my chest.
Her arms are around me in an instant. “Oh, Pippa. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
32
