That’s exactly what I should do. It’s the polite thing, as the man who put this whole tournament together. But between my pounding head and my aching chest, I’d rather stick my head down a garbage disposal than stand around making polite conversation with a dozen poker players.
I shake my head. “I can’t. I just—I?—”
“It’s fine.” Ria pats my elbow awkwardly. “Go.”
“See you guys later.”
I give them a half-hearted wave and head for the elevator. I keep my eyes glued to the floor, because I don’t have it in me for one more conversation if someone makes eye contact.
Thank fuck, I catch the elevator up to my apartment without anyone stopping me. As the doors close behind me, I close my eyes and let the quiet of my empty apartment permeate my mind. I’m finally alone—for better or for worse.
Or not. Something warm rubs against my ankles, and I look down to see Waffle winding between my legs.
“Hey, pretty girl,” I murmur, crouching so she can rub her head against my hand. “Sorry if I smell like booze.”
Waffle lets out a chirpy little meow, as if to say,obviously.Then she trots away down the hallway toward?—
My heart stops in my chest when I see the yellow light coming out of Pippa’s cracked door.
She’s still here.
Hope swells in my veins. Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe there’s a world where she comes out and slaps me. She can yell at me as long as she wants, as long as it means she’s still talking to me.
The cat disappears through that tiny crack. Then, almost immediately, the door closes behind her.
Guess she doesn’t even want to fight with me.
But I’m going to give her every chance to change her mind.
I head to the kitchen to make myself a smoothie. Not because I want one, but because it’s the noisiest thing I could possibly make. I unpeel a banana and drop it in the blender, kicking the trash can as I drop in the banana peel. A bag of frozen berries makes satisfying little bangs when I add it to the plastic container. Then, the pièce de resistance—chicken broth. I don’t care what Beau tells me, it adds extra protein and it tastes exactly the same.
When I press blend, it fills the kitchen with a loud mechanical whirl. I don’t stop it for at least five minutes, because hey, there’s no such thing as an over-blended smoothie.
I pour out my smoothie and drop the dirty blender cup in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher. If all the noise doesn’t get Pippa to come out and yell at me, hopefully the dirty dishes will put her over the top.
Plopping down on the sofa, I put my feet up on the coffee table and wait.
An hour later, Arthur texts me to thank me for hosting the tournament and drop that, by the way, he won.
An hour after that, James texts to make sure I’ve recovered from my hangover.
One more hour, and I know there’s no way Pippa’s coming out to see me. So I drag myself to my room for a shower. If I’m lucky I’ll fall dead asleep, and I won’t dream about everything I’ll miss.
35
PIPPA
The pillow feels hot under my cheek. I turn it over, seeking out that cool pillow feeling, but it’s still too warm from the last time I flipped it. I groan, the sound filling the bedroom. I’ve spent hours turning over in bed, chasing sleep. All that time, and sleep hasn’t gotten any closer.
My blood has been rushing through my body like I’ve been downing caffeine all day. Pent-up energy swells in my limbs. I want to get up and pace instead of lie down to sleep, even though I know I’ll regret it in the morning if I don’t sleep. I’m just too twitchy and erratic, all too aware of the man down the hall.
I heard the elevator door ding when Ryan came back early from his poker tournament. I put on my noise-canceling headphones so I didn’t have to listen to his purposefully loud smoothie-making session. Blasting music might have kept the sound out, but it didn’t do anything to quell the knowledge that he wasthere.
On top of everything else, my period chose today to show up, which puts soreness and mood swings on my list of life obstacles. Today sucks, and if I don’t get any sleep, tomorrow’s going to feel even worse.
So what do I do? I lie in the dark and try to do the thing any sensible woman would do right now: imagine my immediate future withouthimin it.
Try to get amped up for it.
