“I’ve never been on a date before.”
I don’t know why I make that confession. But sitting here on opposite sides of a table for two with a candle—albeit fake—between us feels entirely too intimate for employees. But then, everything recently between us hasn’t felt very professional.
She slept in my bed in only her lingerie, for fuck’s sake.
“This…this isn’t a date,” she stutters, looking a little like she’s about to run out of the restaurant in fear.
“No, I know that. I was just…”What the fuck am I doing?
I exhale a heavy breath.
“I was just saying. I’ve never been on one. I hook up with women. I’ve never…had anything serious.”
“I wish I hadn’t either,” Freya mutters.
“He was a moron for letting you go,” I say fiercely.
“Thanks. It was for the best, though. I can see that now.”
“Whoever he was, you’re better off without him.”
She nods. “I agree. Today was a good day. Thank you for taking me to the shelter. It was fun meeting everyone. They really love you.”
“I love doing my part. Making a difference in their lives.”
“You definitely do that,” she assures me, and I really hope she’s right. Giving back to those who are struggling to find their feet means everything to me.
“I don’t have a family,” I confess, looking up at her through my lashes, terrified of her reaction.
“What? That’s crazy. Of course you do,” she argues.
I shake my head. “I don’t. I never knew who my dad was. And my mom…well, she wasn’t a mom. From as early as I can remember, I was in the system, bouncing around between awful foster parents and kids’ homes.”
“You have family,” she assures me, her eyes holding mine firmly.
“I don’t. I?—”
“You’re talking about blood relations. No, you might not have any of those. But family is so much more than that. Family are the people who love you, who care for you, who support you. People who will be there when life gets hard and keep you standing when all you want to do is crumble. And from where I’m standing, you have loads of those.”
A lump crawls up my throat, and I blink quickly as my eyes burn.
“Your teammates would do anything for you, Cole, no questions asked. The coaching staff, even the front office staff, I’m sure. Jet and some of those guys today. Melvin,” she adds, mentioning the security guard from my building, whom I wasn’t aware she knew that well.
I slouch back into my seat as her words roll through me. The truth within them is hitting me incredibly hard. It’s as exhilarating as it is terrifying.
“I’m sorry, was that too much?” Freya whispers, regret dancing across her features.
“No.” In a rush, I sit forward and reach across the table for her hand.
She jumps in shock, her eyes widening before darting toward where we’re joined. The heat of her skin sears up my arm, making my heart beat a little faster.
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve touched someone, even this innocently.
Obviously, I’m not blind of my lack of action recently, but the instant she squeezed my arm out in the parking lot, I became acutely aware of the situation. It wasn’t anything more than a friendly, reassuring squeeze, and yet my body went off at a million miles a minute. I felt like a freaking teenager, not a fully grown man, as I stood there staring back at her.
“You’re right,” I say, forcing the words out. “I…” I swallow, dragging my eyes and, sadly, my hand away from hers as I sit back. “I've learned how to keep people on the periphery of my life. It’s safer. And I guess by doing so, I miss what’s really happening.”
“You have some incredible people around you,” Freya assures me.
