Cole isn’t Rowan, and the life we’re building here isn’t the same as the one I had on the road.
I’m pretty sure I’ve experienced every red flag that exists thanks to Rowan Conaway, and I can confidently say that this time, I’m not ignoring any or hoping that things will get better with time.
Instead, everything is just…easy. And I’m learning that it’s so easy because it’s right.
Cole isn’t forcing me into a hole that doesn’t fit me. Instead, I’m stepping right in as if this is where I’ve always belonged.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect everything to be easy. I’m embarking on a relationship with a professional athlete who travels nine months of the year. It’s going to be anything but easy. But I also know that it’s going to be worth it.
Cole left me to finish up in the bathroom, promising to order in breakfast because my stomach was growling loudly—and his, of course, because the man is perpetually hungry—and he refused point-blank to allow me to cook. He happily announced that we’re both having the day off, and I’m powerless but to do as I’m told.
There was a moment when I almost suggested that we go out for breakfast, but then reality hit, and I remembered why hibernating in Cole’s apartment was probably for the best.
Tomorrow, he’ll have to go back to life as usual, and we’ll have to deal with the fallout of last night.
As I step back into Cole’s bedroom, I find one of his hoodies and a clean pair of panties waiting for me.
Happily, I pull them both on, but before I let the fabric of his hoodie fall around my thighs, I gather it up and hold it to my nose, breathing in a deep hit of the man who is becoming everything to me.
I take off toward the living area, but my steps falter when I find him resting on his elbows at the kitchen island with his cell in his hand and a deep scowl.
“Is it that bad?” I ask, my heart sinking into my feet.
I know he promised me that we would ride this out together, but I’d be lying if there wasn’t a terrified part of me that doesn’t think I’m worthy of him standing beside me through whatever slander Rowan is going to throw my way.
Cole does a double take before slamming his cell on the counter face down and turning to look at me.
“Damn, you look better in my clothes than I do.”
“Please don’t do that,” I warn. “If we’re going to get through this together, then you can’t hide it from me. From here on out, there can’t be any secrets between us.”
“I’m not keeping anything from you, baby,” he says softly, meeting me halfway and taking my face in his hands. “I want to protect you from it all, though. If there was anything I could do to make it all go away, I would.”
“I know. But life isn’t that easy. It’s the price I have to pay for going with him in the first place, despite all the signs that I’d end up broken at the end of it. My parents warned me. Everyone warned me. But he had me wrapped around his little finger, and he led me around like a dog on a freaking leash.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“No, I know that. I just…I regret it, you know.”
“You’ve gotta embrace it. Maybe it was a mistake. Or maybe it was a lesson you needed to become the person you are today. If you didn’t go with him, you may never have ended up here. And I, for one, think that would have been a travesty.”
“I’m not sure you’re going to be able to convince me that I need to thank him for anything.”
Cole chuckles. “I’m not going that far. But you know what I mean?”
I nod, understanding everything he’s saying.
“I’ve been in some really shitty situations over the years, Freya. The kind that I wouldn’t wish on even my worst enemy, but when I look back now, I realize that each of thoseexperiences helped shape me. Maybe without them, I wouldn’t be one of the best goalies in the NHL. I wouldn’t get to live in his incredible city in the kind of home that I could only dream of as an unwanted kid.”
“Cole,” I breathe, sliding my hands up his bare chest and folding them around his neck.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. And I know it might not mean anything, but…you’re certainly not unwanted now. I’m…I’m falling for you, Cole Hansley.”
He stares down at me, his eyes wide as saucers as he fights to get a grasp on those words.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, sinking my fingers into the soft skin at the nape of his neck and holding him to me. “You said to me very recently that we can take all of this at my speed. That works both ways. I’ve had my heart shattered and my confidence wrecked. But it’s not just me dealing with painful things here, Cole. Correct me if I’m wrong, but we’re stepping into new territory for you, and that is terrifying.” He nods. The movement is slight, but it’s there. Fear darkens his eyes, and vulnerability oozes from him.
