Cole: Just got onto the plane, will be leaving soon. I’ve arranged a surprise for you. Expect the apartment buzzer to go off any minute.
Isuck in a sharp breath. What has he done now?
Tonight is the club opening. I have my dress ready in the bedroom. It’s nothing fancy, but something that still fits from my time in Vegas that I think will be appropriate. Casey and I had planned to go shopping together, but she hasn’t managed to find the time.
I, on the other hand, have been as free as a bird. Although, not if you ask Levi who popped up in my messages trying to arrange our next date. Yeah…I don’t think that’ll be happening. Ever.
Nerves rattle through me at the thought of what tonight might hold.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the media spotlight. Well, not me, of course. But much like tonight, I was on the arm of a man the media all wanted a piece of.
I hated it. Felt like nothing more than a puppet being dragged along against its will.
I cringe as I remember the shouting and screaming to get Rowan’s attention. The flash of the cameras. The enthusiastic fans who were desperate for a piece of him.
At the beginning, it was fun. I’d willingly get dressed up and enjoy being a part of it. I can’t really pinpoint when that changed, but it did. I guess it started small with Rowan not approving of how I’d done my hair or makeup. Then it would move to my outfit choice. It got to the point where if we were going out in public, he’d decide on my clothes. Toward the end, I just stopped getting invited at all. Eventually, I was cast aside. Replaced by prettier, more talented women.
I remember the first time I saw him with someone else; I was physically sick. I’d had all these hopes and dreams for our future, and there it was, clear as day on the internet, that he’d moved on.
I was drowning from our separation, and he was up on stage kissing pop stars and dating models.
I can’t go through that again. I barely survived the first time.
My nerves about tonight grow.
I hate that I’m alone this afternoon. If Cole were here, I doubt I’d be as scared as I am. Just his presence would calm me. And I have no doubt he’d have the right words to say, too. He always does.
Freya: What have you done?
His message shows as read immediately, but he doesn’t start typing.
I sit there with my heart in my throat, waiting.
Eventually, the dots begin bouncing, although the sight doesn’t calm my anxiety at all.
Cole: You deserve to be treated like a queen. So sit back, relax, and enjoy your afternoon. I can’t wait to see you x
“Oh god,” I whimper, my head spinning with ideas.
Unsure of what to reply, I go for the polite option and instantly regret it.
Freya: See you soon. Have a great flight.
Cole: Did I fuck up?
I drop my head into my hand, regret rolling through me.
Freya: No, not at all. I’m just nervous about tonight.
Cole: Everything is going to be fine. And you’re going to look beautiful. But if at any point you want to bail, all you’ve got to do is say the words.
It’s tempting to say the words now. To tell him that I can’t go and spend the night home alone instead.
But that’s what the broken me would say. The new me wants to be brave and do things the old me would have embraced with open arms.
That’s what I want to do. Hold my head up high and embrace my new life with Cole. I want to stand by his side at events like this. I want to support him publicly, not be too scared to show my face.
Freya: Thank you.
