I watch him disappear into the shadows, back straight, confident as ever. I had a good time—honestly. And he didn’t so much as brush my hand or lean in. Just friends. Just what I said I wanted.
So why does my chest feel hollow? And why, against all logic, am I wishing it went a little further?
21
Thou Shalt Not Lose Thy Head to Fantasies
Arwen
Waking up, I feel last night’s glow still lingering. My glow fades fast when I remember who I am and where I am. Feelings for Ryker? Am I crazy?
I step into the shower and let the hot water pummel my shoulders, scrubbing at the stubborn traces of last night’s stupid, fluttering heart. Can’t let myself get careless. He’s got a reputation sharp as a knife, and I need to keep my guard up. Charming, magnetic, infuriating… doesn’t matter. He’s Ryker, and I’m not falling for that.
I grab a granola bar on my way out of the dorm, and head down the tower stairs. Outside the courtyard, my friends are leaving the cafeteria, and Tabby’s eyes find mine as they run over.
“So… how was your night?” she asks, eyebrow raised.
“You got back late,” Holly adds, eyes narrowing in that I-know-something-you’re-not-telling-me way.
Before I can answer, Brix cuts in. “I should—uh—Professor Halcyon wanted to see me.” The words stumble out too quickly, like he’s pushing them ahead of himself just to get moving. He edges back a step, rubbing the back of his neck.
He flicks a glance my way and forces a small, crooked smile. “I’m… glad you made it through the night, Arwen.”
He doesn’t wait for a response. He’s already turning away, shoulders a little too tight for someone who’s just “busy.”
I shrug at the rest of my friends as he walks away. “It went fine. Surprisingly, Ryker kept things platonic.”
Holly makes a low whistle, and I can see Tabby’s grin threatening to widen as if she’s already planning her next line of questioning. But I shake my head at them and change the topic, keeping my lips sealed. Some things they don’t need to know. They would likely find these so-called feelings as ridiculous as I do.
Cleo and I break away after chatting, heading toward faction history.
As we turn the corner, my stomach drops. I see Atticus and Daphne cozy in the hallway. I freeze against the wall, clutching my books a little too tightly.
Atticus stands with one hand resting on Daphne’s hip, fingers splayed like he’s been there a hundred times. She leans in, lips brushing the shell of his ear as she murmurs something only he’s meant to hear.
Whatever it is, it pulls a low laugh from him.
My book slips from my fingers before I even think. A sharp thunk on the floor.
His head snaps up, eyes flicking in my direction, a smirk forming on his lips…
He felt that! My bond flared, jealous and needling, and he caught it.
He turns back to Daphne, unfazed, and continues speaking in her ear, leaving me burning in my chest as Cleo helps me gather myscattered books. I follow her into the classroom, cheeks hot, hands trembling.
Daphne walks in just before the bell, triumphant and smug. No snide remarks, no jabs. Nothing.Her happiness makes me grit my teeth.
As class begins, I can’t sit still.
“What’s going on with you today?” Cleo asks in a hushed whisper as I cross and uncross my legs for the 20th time.
“I don’t know, I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin,” I respond irritated.
Ever since last night, since whatever that was between Ryker and me, my bond has been a nightmare. It won’t shut up. Sitting here now, watching one of my unfinished bonds wrapped around another woman, right before I have to sit through a lecture taught by another one of my bonds, has it howling in my chest.
I curl my hands into fists under the desk, every muscle pulled tight. Part of me wants to storm down the aisle, sweep his organized things off the desk, and sprawl across it like some over-the-top romance movie heroine just to make a point.
As soon as the bell rings, I bolt. No hesitation. My plan to switch books with Professor Gabriel today evaporates. I can’t trust my bond near him right now. Not with all this… chaos simmering inside me.
