“You’re right,” I said after a long pause. “I shouldn’t have presumed. It’s been a long time, and all of this is still a shock.”
Her shoulders loosened, arms flopping to her side as she scrutinized me. I could sense mild surprise and relief through the mating bond.
“Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate it.”
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me,” I said. “In the meantime, I’ll let you finish getting ready for bed.”
She gave a slow nod, but we both knew that she wasn’t going to come to my bedroom anytime soon.
“Good night, then,” she said.
“Good night,” I managed to grit out. Then, with far more effort than I cared to admit, I turned and walked down the hall back to my room, slamming the door shut behind me.
Chapter 8 - Emma
I don’t move until I hear his door shut. And when I did, it was only to lean against the wall and take several deep, calming breaths as I tried to get myself under control.
It had taken nearly every ounce of my control to hold firm, to say no to him, given how badly I wanted him. But I wasn’t going to succumb to those urges. Not yet. Not for a long time. Hell, maybe not ever.
I may be trying to show strength, but it was more for my protection than anything else. In my mind, I was still that timid teenager, waking up in Elias’s bed, having my heart broken and all my hopes dashed by a single look and a few dismissive words. I couldn’t open myself up to that again.
As I moved down the hallway back toward Grace’s and my bedroom, strong, almost visceral emotions that weren’t my own washed over me. Elias. The mating bond at work. I could practically feel the bite mark on my neck prickling as that emotional, mental connection began to click into place. It felt strange, having him almost inside me. I could sense his own thoughts and feelings swirling around inside me, almost but not quite melding with my own.
I closed my eyes, letting the emotions wash over me. I could sense his disappointment. It wasn’t just on a physical level; it wasn’t just because he wanted to have sex or because it was his duty. The mating bond was pushing him toward it. Which, in a way, made it almost worse. It wasn’t because he wanted me. It was effectively a biological urge. He would feel this way about anyone he had mated as his luna.
That didn’t make it any less real, though. It didn’t diminish the urge. And that had nothing to do with my ownemotions. Part of me wanted him just as badly as he wanted me. It wasn’t just my wolf. Latent feelings I had stomped down for the past several years resurfaced the second I saw him standing on my doorstep. It had been hard enough keeping them in check while stuck at my parents’ house. Here, in his—our—house, with the mating bond setting itself in stone, it made it nearly impossible to hold them back.
Except I had to, for my own sake. I had given Elias my heart once, and he had broken it and thrown it back in my face. I couldn’t risk it happening again. We might be mates. The Oracle might have decreed I was to be the pack’s luna. He might have claimed me with the mating mark. None of that meant he couldn’t hurt me again. None of that meant he legitimately cared about me or Grace.
Closing my eyes, I sucked in a deep breath, standing in the hall, my hand gripping the doorknob tighter than necessary. I didn’t need this on my plate, not with everything else. I had other things to worry about. Namely, the pack. I was their luna now. I didn’t feel like it. I still felt like an outcast. I knew how they saw me: weak, unfit to be mated to their leader, a traitor for having run away. If I’d had any thoughts to the contrary, my parents’ reaction to my return had squashed them. They hadn’t been hostile, but they hadn’t exactly been welcoming, either.
My parents, my father in particular, saw me as a disappointment. How the hell would everyone else see me?
I thought back to the ceremony. Once again, they had all accepted me as their luna, but none of them had seemed particularly thrilled at the prospect. The elders had looked at me with resignation, and I hadn’t missed the spiteful looks some of the women shot my way as I moved down the aisle. There was a difference between acknowledging someone in a position of power and actually liking it.
Pushing open the door, I saw the top of Grace’s head poking out from underneath the covers. She mumbled something in her sleep and rolled over, completely unconscious in the way only kids could be.
Affection rushed through me, warming my insides and chasing away some of the dread and anxiety. Right now, I just needed to focus on Grace. I wanted to make sure she was happy and well taken care of. I wanted her to feel loved in a way I never had when I was her age. I would do everything in my power to protect her, no matter the cost. That needed to be my priority right now, not how Elias was feeling or what the rest of the pack thought of my new position. Just focus on her, keep her safe, and the rest would follow.
I curled up next to Grace, but my eyes stayed wide open as I stared at the wall, feeling her chest rising and falling in deep, rhythmic slumber next to me. My mind swirled, thoughts of the mating bond, the future, the pack racing and twisting in my head, all vying for dominance in their own way.
Just protect Grace, I thought.Worry about the rest after that.
I repeated that mantra in my head until I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 9 - Elias
I poured a cup of coffee, then paused, staring down at the carafe. I had tried to make enough for Emma to drink as well, but I realized I didn’t know whether she liked coffee or not in the first place.
Looks like you’ve both got a lot to learn about the other, a voice whispered in my head.
I ignored it, pushing the thought back. The incident last night was still swirling around in my head, and that was enough of a distraction to deal with without having to think about how little it felt like we knew each other at times.
Just as I was about to go sit at the table, Grace bounded into the kitchen. She came to a halt as she saw me, her head tilting, her expression growing curious.
“Hi,” I said, somewhat stiffly. I didn’t mind kids. I liked them, at least for the most part. But I had no idea how to really interact with them.
“Good morning.” Grace yawned, then blinked up at me again. A pause.
