Simon: Are you on your way home?
The phone rings in my hand, and I hurry to accept the call."Boris?"I wince at how breathy I sound.
"Hi."His voice is warm, and it sends a tingle through me.
"I was about to call in a search party only to realize I had no idea where you were."
He chuckles, and it makes my knees go weak, so I pull out a chair and slump down by the kitchen table.
"Zahrah wants to snap a few photos of the lake at dawn tomorrow.It's gonna be a cold night, and she wants to capture the frosty reeds at the edge of the water."
So he wasn't on his way back."No wolves?"
"Oh, yeah, there's been some photos of wolves."
The air freezes in my lungs."In Rutchester?Shouldn't you report there being wolves to someone?It's not safe to have people hiking there if there are wolves.Maybe some agency can have them moved, so they don't have to die."
Silence.
"Boris?"
"Yeah, I'm here.You want to kill the wolves?"His voice is toneless.
"No!I said to move them, so they don't have to be killed."
"But this is their home.They've lived here for generations."
I frown.I've read everything there is to read about the Rutchester Nature Preserve, both before Ira and I went there and after, since I wanted to make sure I hadn't missed the mention of wolves somewhere.
"There aren't supposed to be wolves in Rutchester."
"There's always been wolves in Rutchester, and there will always be wolves in Rutchester.It's our home."
Our?Does he mean his and Zahrah's home?I can't name the emotion filling my chest."I've read a lot about the nature preserve, and there isn't supposed to be any wolf pack there.It's dangerous to have wolves so close to civilization.What if a child wanders off on their own?Gets lost, and--"
"No wolf would ever harm a child."
Why does he sound so defensive?"I only meant..."Fuck, I meant what I said."It's dangerous."
"No, it's not."
"Boris, you can't trust a wild animal.They're not pets!"
He snorts, and I don't know why it pisses me off.Doesn't he realize he could be in danger?"I can't believe you're willingly putting yourself in danger.You're not some reckless teen.Don't you have any consideration for the people around you?What am I supposed to tell Ira if you're killed?"Panic claws at me.I can't let Ira get attached if he's gonna be this careless with his life.I don't think he'll survive losing another person.
"Simon."His voice is deep and calm, but it doesn't help.I'm falling headfirst into an abyss of despair.What if he's killed?What if I have to go to his funeral?What if I have to explain to Ira that he was eaten by wolves?
"No, I can't.I can't let someone reckless into our lives."
A whine and it doesn't sound human.
"I have to think about Ira's well-being."
"Simon."
"I'm sorry, Boris.I have to protect us.I'm...eh..."Fuck, I'm overreacting.I know I'm overreacting, but I can't stop myself.I have to do what I can to spare us the pain of an eventual loss.
"Babe?"
