But whatever she was going to say was lost as loud music started to blare from behind them. Shouts and cheers went up as several of the younger crowd started to dance with Rehan, God help them, as their DJ. Kabir rose to his feet, his heart tight and hurting. But before he could walk away, Tani reached for his hand, her slim fingers closing around his callused ones. She squeezed hard and tight, three times. Their unspoken code for I love you. For a second, Kabir considered squeezing back, letting everything in his heart spill out and fall in a glorious mess at her feet.
Your mother was the local don.
The conversation with his aunt and the ridiculous farce his life was swam through his mind, another layer to all the reasons he shouldn’t be with her, shouldn’t exist in her sphere. And so, for the first time since he’d known Tani, he pulled his hands free of hers, not allowing himself to squeeze hers back. He could feel her hurt gaze boring into his back as he left the stage but he didn’t look back. If he did, he would break.
He walked straight over to where his father sat with some guests. “Dad,” he said abruptly. “I’m leaving.”
“Kabir.” Ved looked at him, perturbed. “You just got here.”
“Yeah.” He forced the surly rudeness of his adolescence into his voice. “And I’ve marked my attendance. Can I go now?”
“Marked your attendance?” Anger sparked in Ved’s eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Kabir sighed. “Dad I came for your sake. I’m attending all the functions for your sake. This isn’t my scene. You know that. I came. I did my bit. I want to go now. I’ll be back for the next function.”
“For my sake?” Ved repeated. “Not for Tani’s sake? Or for yourself?”
A bitter laugh escaped him. “No Dad, I’m not doing this for myself. So, if you’ve finished guilt tripping me, can I go now?” he asked insolently.
“You’re acting like a spoilt brat,” Ved said tersely. “Not the grown man I know you to be.”
“Maybe,” Kabir said, rubbing a palm over his scruffy beard. “You don’t know me at all.”
“Or maybe we know you too well and that’s what you can’t handle.” Ved took a deep breath, composing himself. “Go, if you want to. But we’re going to talk later.”
The disappointment in his voice sliced like a scythe through Kabir. If there was one thing, Kabir never wanted to do, it was disappoint this man. And yet, no matter what choices he made, he still ended up doing exactly that.
Not trusting himself to speak, he turned on his heel, walking away from his family as they laughed, danced and partied. He left the joy and the love behind and walked away, alone.
Just like always.
CHAPTER 22
TANISHA
Tani smiled,danced, and spoke her heart out for the next few hours but inside everything she was, everything she knew, everything she felt, was crumbling into grey ash. Her choice, she reminded herself as she allowed an elderly aunt to pull her in for a forehead kiss.
Dusk settled over the lawns, the first stars twinkling out as more people joined them. A loud cheer went up as Jay and his friends and family arrived. She grinned through her heartache as she watched her brother and friends pull him in for a dance. He was a good sport and danced his heart away in his own tone deaf, uncoordinated way. And this was what she wanted. Uncomplicated vibes and someone who showed up for her every single time.
Kabir showed up for you too, her mind whispered. She shoved that thought away, hitching up her long skirts and running across the lawn to join the dancing. Jay swept her up into a hug and stepped on her foot at the same time. She winced but continued smiling, her brother barging in to grab her and swing her around with a lot more coordination.
She laughed out loud as Rehan swung her one last time and into her father’s arms. Karam grinned, as he drew her into an intricate choreography. Tani threw her head back, laughed and moved with him, her heart feeling like it would burst from the pain and happiness flooding it, a toxic mix that stung and burned. She didn’t realise that tears had escaped her iron control, streaming down her cheeks as she laughed, until her father thumbed them away gently.
Tani pulled back, flustered, wiping her cheeks dry as she shouldered past him and towards where Jay’s parents stood, watching the merriment with a disapproving frown. She bent to touch their feet, accepting their stiff blessings, before making some polite chit chat. Just when she thought she might die of boredom, her mother walked over and asked them to join the others for dinner. Tani watched them go with guilty relief.
“Bonding with the in laws, huh?” Kanak came to stand beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
“Well,” Tani sighed. “I was trying. I don’t think any bonding happened.”
“Don’t sweat it, sweetie.” Kanak squeezed her tight. “It will happen when it happens. And I know that it will happen soon.”
“Oh?” Tani laughed. “How do you know that?”
“You’re very lovable.” Kanak squinted towards where Jay’s parents sat with loaded plates. “If those two tight arses can’t see it, I’ll make sure they do.”
“Stop threatening the in laws, darling.” Aakash came to stand beside Tani.
“Like you wouldn’t do the same,” Kanak scoffed.
