His emotions were running rampant, as he skimmed through the Rolodex of his mind, acknowledging further examples of past guys and situations, confirming his profound and disheartening self-diagnosis... seeing a repetitive pattern similar to the impartial code of cold computer data:
Young, hitched, happily single... young, hitched, happily single... young, hitched, happily single...
* * *
He was almost back to Burtonsville when his phone rang, magnified and echoed by the car’s automated system.
“Incoming call,”said the robotic female voice.“Bo Bryson, mobile.”
Ralph considered not answering it. They’d been playing phone tag most of the day. Why not leave it in limbo?
Because he works for you, Ralph. Just tell him something came up. You’re not coming.
Subconscious scolding received, he pressed the answer button on his steering wheel.
“Hey, Bo.”
“Hey, Ralph. You playing phone-tag with me?”
“Maybe. Look, Bo—” Ralph began.
“It’s already snowing here. Pretty hard. Are you seeing it there yet?”
“Yeah, I am. Bo, I—”
He stopped. He wasn’t sure what to say.
It’s a little white lie. Just tell him you can’t... that you’ll need rain-check.
“Ralph? You alright?” Bo asked.
He pulled over into the meridian. He was shaking, his fingers gripping the steering wheel so hard it hurt.
“Yeah,” he grimaced, releasing a long sigh as the Denali rolled to a stop and he flipped his hazards on.
“I can hang up,” Bo said. “I don’t want you getting hurt, trying to drive and talk in a snowstorm.”
“No. It’s fine. I’m just an asshole. I got as far as Hunan Manor and now I’m headed back home. I was going to call you later.”
“Wow. That’s a long way to drive for Chinese food.”
“Something came... damn.”
“Everything OK, Ralph?”
“Yeah—shit. I can’t lie. This whole excursion may have been under false pretenses.”
“May have been?” Bo asked, playfully.
“No. It was. I’m a jerk. I was coming up there to celebrate with you because I’m lonely. I like you, Bo. I think you know that, or at least you did that one time in Shirlington. And I know I’m an idiot, and that you’re with Dale. But I guess I’d rather be with youandhim than be without you and alone.”
Bo paused for a second, then asked tentatively, “Are you suggesting a three-way, Ralph?”
“HELL NO. I’m not into that. I like you, not him. No offense. I’m kinda having a mid-life crisis here. Shirley said something today, and it got me thinking. I may be wasting my life.”
“Oh, I see. Wow. Damn, Shirl.”
“Plus, you work for me, which complicates matters even further. Anyway, I got to Columbia and picked up the food and then it hit me—I’m a selfish asshole. It’s Friday night, a weekend snowstorm—you should be with Dale, enjoying your life together, all cozy and romantic... not with your sorry-ass boss, who is lonely because he somehow sabotages his chance at a relationship before there’s even any potential. Does that make sense?”
