“Once the shock wore off, I called him out on being dishonest. Coached him a little about dating websites and safety. And then we went to B.J.’s and sang show tunes.”
“Good for you. Yours turned out better than mine.”
“I guess. It’s still a little disappointing when things don’t go the way you hope. But I did make a friend.”
“That’s a silver lining. I’ll never see mine again. I lectured him—told him he was self-obsessed, out-of-touch, rude...”
Mikey chuckled.
“Has it always been that way?” George asked. “Am I just that naive?”
“No. There’s a lot of odd single folks out there. Sometimes I question myself. When you’ve been doing this stupid online dating as long as I have, you start to see the same faces all the time—you know, in the parameters, you set up. One day you start thinking—I’m just one of these losers too... and they’re seeing my face and thinking the exact. Same. Fucking. Thing.”
“You’re not a loser, Mikey.”
“You and I know that. But what do theseregularsat the dating sites think? It doesn’t do much for your ego.”
“Who gives a shit what they think? You’ll never meet most of them. Unless—you haven’t met most of them, have you?”
Mikey laughed. “No. But sometimes it feels that way.”
“Well, I don’t think I’ll be dating again for a while.”
“You gotta get back on the horse, George. You’re a good guy. It’ll happen.”
“I think I’ll just concentrate on making David’s a success. Worry about personal stuff later.”
“So you came home, took your clothes off at—” Mikey looked at his watch. “—a little after eight o’clock. It’s a little early for bed, isn’t it?”
“I’m tired. My head hurts. I just wanted to lie down.”
“I know an excellent remedy for that.”
“Yeah? Me too. That’s kinda what I was in the middle of when you texted.”
“Aw, man. I’m such a doof. I messed up your rhythm, didn’t I?”
George grinned. “It’s all good. I know how to get it back.”
“I kind of figured something might be going on with you all sexy-looking and shirtless.”
“You’re too kind, Mikey. I’m close to forty.”
“Same here. Who cares?”
“You sound a lot different on the phone.”
“How so?”
“Quieter. More reserved.”
“That’s because I’m in my bedroom and I don’t want my ma to hear me. Now, who sounds like a sad Gen X-er pretending to be a Millennial?” Mikey tilted his head down and rolled his big brown eyes up.
George laughed hard. “You’re hilarious... and very sweet.”
“I can be spicy if you like.” He grabbed the neck of his t-shirt and yanked it down, giving George a glimpse of a pert, pink nipple in a sea of dark swirling chest hair. “Come on, George. Show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”
George was a little taken aback by the proposal. This was his mailman, for God’s sake. But he wasn’t entirely deterred. “It’s tempting, Mikey. And you’ve caught me at a weak moment... here in my boxers... in bed. But I can’t show you my wang. For all I know, you’d screen capture it and have it all over the Internet by tomorrow.”
