Tricia smiled. “I’ll be back in just a few.”
“You know,” Chaz said, brushing imaginary lint from his jacket sleeve. “I’m allowed to say things like that. When you do it, it just makes me want to bend you over my knee and spank you.”
“How much do you weigh? About sixteen pounds?”
“Good one. You were saying?”
Mikey had to think about it.Was he saying? Yes, he was.“Oh. I was curious. You found—wefound each other on Bear911. But you’re not really a bear or a cub, are you?”
“Bear911’s not just for bears, Mikey. It’s for chasers too—otters, wolves...”
Chipmunks.
“But your profile stated otherwise—height and weight, for example.”
“Yeah, I fudged it a little. I had to get your sexy self to go out with me. You are sexy, you know. I’ve been thinking about this date all day, imagining what it would be like to get you in my sling.”
Mikey pictured a dark basement with a black leather-sling suspended lower than average, some odd sex toys on a nearby bench, and a spinning wheel in the corner.
“We haven’t even had a drink yet.”
“Is that what it takes, Mikey?” He put his elbow on the table, face in hand. “Do you need to be good and drunk to fall asleep in my arms?”
“No. That is not what I meant. And I think you know better.”
Chaz waved a hand. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Tricia brought their drinks.
“We’re going to need a little more time before ordering, Tricia,” Mikey said.
“No problem. I’ll have your appetizer right out.”
She left.
“Look, Chaz, I think within that salty exterior of yours, you’re actually very sweet—”
“I am,” he answered. Three syllables.
"—and funny. I picked up on both from just messaging with you.”
“You have the most beautiful eyes.”
“But you misrepresented—”
“Yeah, yeah. Not showing a pic. Haven’t we been over that already?”
“You’re not letting me finish.”
“Fine,” he said, leaning back and sipping from his martini.“Enlighten me.”
Mikey took a pull from his beer. “In your stats, you put in a height and weight close to mine, so I visualized that we were similar—physically. You even put brown eyes. Your eyes are blue.”
“That’s because I just copied and pastedyourstats. Happy? Now you know what you want—yourself.”
Mikey cocked his head. “OK. Well, that’s a little weird. But your point is leaning in the right direction. I am looking for someone similar to me in build...and age. That being said, I think you’re very cute—”
In a Sophia Petrillo sort of way.
