I lean forward and brace my forearms on my legs to stop them from shaking. “Micah and Borin had their fair share of push back when they chose me. People are more inclined to accept a new ruler if they come from a royal bloodline. No matter where people stand with your policies, they’re eager to know the LeFur line will continue with you, with a child born of a royalunion. Law or not, if the Statera doesn’t bind that union, the people will not view it as valid.”
He shakes his head and stands, pacing the length of his desk. I can practically see his brain shifting through all the possibilities, looking for a way to make me see things the way he does. But it won’t work. I’ve sorted through all the options. If there was another way to make this work, I’d gladly take it. This is our best option.
He spins on his heels to face me and leans across his desk, his arms holding him up. With his gaze searing into me, he says, “So, you dedicate your life to serving me, and I marry someone else so they can bear me an heir. And where does that leave us? You become my mistress?”
I flinch, and he tilts his head in a manner that says,I know you don’t want that.Of course I don’t! I want the dream he pictures so clearly in his head for us. We should live out our days as equals who are madly in love. Two people who are not bound by the rules of a deity or the judgement of people. But fate can be cruel, and we can do nothing more than try to make it work for us. Kyron isn’t a stranger to that concept.
“You were once willing to be that for me if it meant we were together,” I say.
“I was an army general, a Stigian, and you were a future queen betrothed to Leif! Our situation then was very different. You weren’t in a position to break that bond. Now I’m king, and I get to set the rules.”
Irritation sizzles through me, and I spring up from the chair. My arms fling around my body as my voice raises. “No, you don’t! I’m disgraced. You don’t get to make the call to overthrow the Statera’s laws. Not without risking Pliris. Zek is waiting for you to mess up. He wants this land, and you can’t put yourself in a position where he can take it.”
“The Allaji won’t take it.”
I laugh, but there is no humor in the sound. My parah is a confident man. He knows his strengths and how to maneuver around his weaknesses, but this is arrogance at its finest. “You’re being reckless with the lives of others, and you know it. You’ve faced the Allaji more than once. Their numbers are greater than ours and they’re stronger. We barely made it off that island alive. If we go head-to-head with them, people will die, and we could lose everything.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
The audacity of that simple statement. It leaves me speechless, opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. When I finally find my voice, my rebuttal is pathetic. “That’s stupid.”
“I disagree.”
Fear and agitation propel me forward. I stalk around the desk until Kyron and I are face to face. I stab my finger into the center of his chest. “You’re being ridiculous! This is an option where everyone wins. We’re together, you remain king, and our people have a fighting chance because you’re leading them with a clear head. Why are you being so stubborn? Why won’t you let me make this sacrifice for you?”
“Because it’s not a decision we made together! If you recall, I once made a life-altering decision without you, and it nearly destroyed us. I promised I would never make a move like that again. I thought it went without saying that you were making the same promise to me.”
“I did!”
He steps forward, and I move back. “Did you, Raelle? Because blindsiding me in front of our court was a fucked-up move. Did you really expect me to throw my hands up and say all right, the dirty dishes await you?”
“I understand that you’re angry I made this decision without you, but who cares if I’m mopping floors if we are together?”
“I’m beyond angry, and I care. I care if people look at the woman I love as less than them. I care if they mock you. I care if they believe I hold anyone above you.” He closes in on me again, and I fight to keep some distance between us. I don’t need him looming over me. I need him to look me in the eye as we battle this out.
“Heavy is the crown, Kyron. No one said being sovereign would come without a cost to you and those who love you.”
He shakes his head, disgust written all over his face. “I hate that saying. I always have. Fuck the crown.”
“It doesn’t work like that. It isn’t as easy as tossing a ring of metal from your head. You made a vow to every person inside and outside of these walls. The man I fell in love with wouldn’t throw the innocent in harm’s way to get what he wants.”
He grits his teeth, his words hissing through them. “The man you love is being brought to the brink of desperation. I will serve this kingdom until my dying breath, but I have one non-negotiable. One. You. And you are asking me to allow you to sacrifice that as well. No. My answer is no. You’ve sacrificed enough.”
My back hits the ladder connected to the bookshelves. I grip the rung at my hips and wish my body could slip right through them. Trapped, I square my shoulders and hold my ground. “Do I no longer have the choice to set my own personal limits? Does everyone else in this kingdom get the luxury of having a say over themselves, but I’m ruled by a tyrannical king?”
“That’s not fair, Raelle.”
“Isn’t it?”
He cradles the back of my neck, tangling his fingers in my hair, and braces his other arm on the rung above my head. The war raging inside of him is as conflicting as the obsidian and bright amber dueling to dominate his irises.
I don’t so much as blink, holding his stare to prove that my resolve in this matter is solid. With a steady tone, I say, “Don’t limit what I would do for you, Kyron. You will fail. You once told me you would aimlessly gather the stars for me while I served our kingdom. Our roles have switched. It’s your responsibility to put Pliris first. Let me be the one who will go to any impossible length for you. I need you to accept my servitude pledge.”
“No. Fuck, no.” He tugs on my hair, tilting my head back. His lips collide with mine, and my turbulent world explodes in a whole new way.
Seventeen
KYRON
