“Do you want more?” he asks.
I shake my head and place the cup on the small bedside table. Sliding over on the mattress, I make room for him and lift the blankets.
He runs his hand over the back of his neck and clears his throat. “You’ve been through a lot. The last thing I want is for you to feel obligated to pick up where we left off. I know you love me just as much as I love you. That’s all that matters to me. The rest will fall into place when you’re ready.”
Anger boils in the pit of my stomach. It’s not aimed at him, but the circumstances that made him believe for one second that I need space from him. Every day I was gone, I spent countless minutes daydreaming about being near him again. I feared that my sins against the Statera would have dire ramifications for our bond. Now that I have him within arm’s reach, I know the feelings I have are just as strong. We’ve had too much time stolen from us, and I refuse to waste one more second.
“Take off your boots, get in this bed, and wrap your arms around me, Kyron. What I need right now is to feel you next to me, and I know you need it too.”
He chuckles and sits on the edge of the mattress. Pulling off a boot, he says, “It’s good to see that your demanding spirit is alive and well.”
“It’s good to see the whole king thing hasn’t gone to your head, and you don’t get offended by your subjects giving you orders,” I counter, pulling him back into the mattress with me.
“I’m not a good ruler, Raelle,” he says, tucking me into the crook of his arm.
“Are you questioning my ability to pick an heir?”
He shifts his head from side to side and says, “Your reasoning for choosing me has come into question with our people more than once.”
I lift my head and hold his gaze with mine. “I didn’t do much as queen, but I did choose the right person to rule Pliris.”
He brushes his fingers through my hair and lowers my head to his chest. The familiar scents of pine and cinnamon envelope me, and warmth spreads through my entire body. I drape my leg over his, feeling the flex of his thigh against the inside of mine. My fingers inch up his shirt until they find the soft skin below his throat and draw small circles. It feels good to touch him again.
Kyron’s hand trails down my spine and his body stiffens.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
So quietly that I almost can’t hear him, he says, “Your back. What did he do to you?”
Bile rises in my throat as his fingers trail over the five raised scars crisscrossing my back. The searing sting of the whip is nothing compared to the gut-wrenching feeling I get witnessing the anger written on Kyron’s face. It’s the type of rage that drives one to protect harder and stop at nothing to right a wrong. It is anger fueled by an irrevocable love.
“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. Just know that I’m going to kill him,” he says. “I’m going to pay him back for every bruise and cut on your body. And when he is begging me toend his miserable life, I will kill him slowly. I promise that I will pay him back tenfold for each time he hurt you.”
The truth behind his words is unwavering. The retribution he plans to get on my behalf is brutal but not shy of what I would do to anyone who hurt him... what I’ve already done. I understand how it feels to have no limits for the one you love. No price is too steep. No act too atrocious. He would sell his soul to right what was done to me, but I’ll never let him do it alone.
I tilt my head to meet his gaze. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, and when the time comes, we’ll take him down together.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
I kiss the center of his neck. “But you did find me. I knew you would come.”
His eyes are glassy from the tears he fights to keep from streaming down his face. I’ve seen him at some of the most tragic moments in his life, but this is like taking a blade to the center of my chest. I don’t want him to blame himself for the atrocious acts of Esmeray and Zek. But it’s clear when his voice breaks with an apology that it will take time for him to get past that feeling.
“I’m sorry... so sorry.”
“Please don’t apologize.” I move my face closer, my lips brushing his as I say, “Even though you weren’t there, you carried me through it all. I’d remembered what you told me about the sky. When I looked out the window, I reminded myself that you saw the same stars and the same sun warmed your skin. Nothing that happened to me in Allaji took root inside of me because I was focused on you.”
He slides his fingers through my hair and tilts my head back. His intense stare searches my eyes for several seconds. I don’t look away under his scrutiny. He will find nothing but the truthand immense love coming from me. His muscles relax and he releases a breath. “I’m so fucking in love with you, Raelle.”
“I love you, Kyron.”
He cups my cheek as I close the small distance between our lips. Warmth spreads throughout me and pools low in my stomach. One tiny taste of him has me desperate for more. I want to reside beneath his skin and swim through his thoughts. I crave nothing short of being consumed by him.
I grip the front of his shirt, desperate to keep him close. I’ve gone too many nights imagining the stroke of his tongue and the warmth of his skin. I held tight to the loving words he spoke to me, but I struggled to hear his voice in my head. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember it quite right. I refused to let go of the memories, but they slid away a little at a time, like grains of sand through my fingers. With each loss, a piece of me went with it until gaping holes remained. This one pure, tender kiss is a balm to those raw wounds on my soul.
Kyron moves his lips from mine and presses them to the tip of my nose and each eyelid. A kiss to my forehead and the sensitive spot below my ear. He pulls me in close, guiding my head to his chest. The rapid beat of his heart calms to a lulling rhythm. I recognize its song as the one my heart sings when he is near. It’s the crackle of a fire on a winter’s night, a hug after going without touch for too long, the sound of laughter and shared secrets. It sings of safety and a love that will withstand this life and the next. Every beat is the exquisite sound of his heart welcoming me home.
Thirteen
