My jaw ticks from the pressure of my clenched teeth. I shouldn’t be stunned by her forwardness. I was warned that her help would cost me. In a time before Raelle, I would have gladly given her whatever she asked and enjoyed going above and beyond her demands. Not anymore.
“You do not wish to touch me, young king?” she asks, cupping my cheek.
“No.”
“Am I not to your liking? I hoped that your tastes would align with your mother’s. If I remember correctly, she couldn’t keep her hands off me.”
Repulsion churns inside me, making it difficult to speak as I say, “If that’s an attempt to seduce me, you might want to try a different tactic.”
Lasandra lifts a sculpted brow and moves to the foot of the bed. Crossing her legs, she gestures to the chair across from her. “Sit and we shall come to a compromise that leaves us both satisfied.”
I ease into the chair but find no comfort in it. My back remains ramrod straight and every muscle in my body is coiled, ready to rush from the room if she forces anything upon me. I hold my gaze on her face while her eyes soak me in from head to toe. The air grows thick with the tension radiating off me as she examines me as if I’m a delicacy. I can almost see her salivating.
“You remind me of your uncle when he sought my assistance. He was also hesitant to give into my request. He wasn’t keen on being with anyone but his husband.”
“Micah and Borin are parahs and their bond was strong. Once parahs have found each other, it makes them physically ill to even think about being unfaithful.”
She crinkles her nose and shakes her head. “The parah bond. I don’t understand why the Statera bestowed it on your people.It is a limitation on how many you can love. I bet those in Pliris who aren’t burdened by it are happier.”
“Perhaps. I’m sure the freedom to choose their partners is fulfilling in its own way.”
“You have a parah, don’t you, King Kyron?”
“I do.”
“Tell me about the last time you were together.”
The memory comes crashing down on me, just as it does every hour of the day. “She killed my mother and was taken from me by the Allaji king.”
“Everyone in the five kingdoms is aware of her fall from grace.” Lasandra leans back on her arms, stretching her body like a feline in heat. “I want to hear about the last time you caressed her skin and sank inside her body.”
I shift in my seat and rest one leg over my thigh. It takes every ounce of self-control to wear a mask of indifference. This woman is determined that I give her an intimate piece of myself before I leave this room. She wants what I have only given to a select few in my life. Not everyone gets a glimpse of my heart... of my vulnerability. It unnerves me, but it’s better than the alternative. “If I share this with you, will you count my favor as paid?”
“I would rather have my hands on you, but I can see that it’s not what you want. I have no desire to take what you do not wish to freely give. Sex is more fun when all are willing participants. Therefore, I will consider this your payment, but you must not leave outanydetails.”
The thought of tainting my last good memory of Raelle leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I cling to that moment on lonely nights. The feel of her skin, the brush of her lips, the soft, wet heat between her legs are all the images I recall when I miss her the most. They fuel my desire in the middle of the night when my body begs for release. I don’t want any thought of this momentwith Lasandra in my mind when I have my cock in my hand. All I want to imagine is Raelle wrapped around me. Her hands. Her mouth. Her cunt. I’m selfish with even thoughts of her, but this is a sacrifice I can live with if it gives me the chance to make new memories with her.
“What does your parah smell like?” Lasandra asks.
I smile and imagine her scent filling my lungs. A sweet floral perfume and warm skin consume my thoughts, and my words flow from my mouth. “Fresh water mixed with lavender and honey. I love the way her hair smells after she has spent hours in the sun, and the soft patch of skin just below her ear. Fuck, I could bury my face in her neck all day.”
“How soft is her skin?” Lasandra asks in a voice husky with desire.
“So soft. She has this odd scar on the outside of her thigh.” I push past the grief building in my chest and slide my hand in my pocket. My fingertips trace the Eporri. It’s like a knife to the gut to know I will never feel it under her skin again, but for now, I pretend I’m touching her. “I love the way it feels when I brush my palms over it. I’ve memorized the pattern of it as she sleeps in my arms. She fits against me like she was made for me.” I chuckle at the truth of that, and for a split second I find a small piece of pure happiness. “Sheismade for me. The last time I touched her naked body she was in my bed.”
Lasandra slides her hand down her sternum and over her stomach, her fingers moving toward the apex of her legs as she says, “Keep going.”
“Don’t, Your Imperial Highness. Do not touch yourself and make your mark on one of my last memories with my parah in that way.” I thought I was ready for whatever would happen inside this room. But not this. I won’t let her desecrate that night by finding her pleasure in it. It belongs to Raelle and me, no oneelse. If I lose my chance to request the ships for not giving into this, so be it. I’ll crawl across Allaji to save Raelle.
I breathe through the anger rising within me and lower my voice, saying, “I’m giving you something precious to me, letting you in on an intimate moment with my parah. Please let that be enough for right now. What you do after I leave this room is up to you.”
She tilts her head to the side, studying me like I’m sort of an anomaly. “I’m intrigued by you King Kyron. So many powerful people walk into this room and bend to my will all because I can get them what they want. You would throw away my offer for what? Loyalty? The coupling traditions of your kingdom?”
“No. If it were only just my body, you could have it. But I can’t offer you something that belongs to my parah. I can’t offer you a part of my soul when it’s not solely mine to give. I apologize for wasting your time,” I say, standing to leave.
Lasandra bolts upright and places her hand out to stop me. “Just this one story. Give me this one story. I need to understand what it is like to be so devoted to one woman. If you do this, I will grant you an audience with my husband.”
The desperation on her face has me easing back into the chair. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to love another woman the way I do Raelle. She holds my full, undivided attention. I’m more than devoted to her. Everything I am belongs to her. She owns me.
