“Ok. Good.” I still sound like a blubbering idiot. “I’m gonna go get a little more sleep before the sun rises.” I point toward the door and by extension my room before lifting off the ground, and lowering his shirt to cover the important parts and head for my room.
A part of me expected him to take me back to the pile of blankets andquilts on a wordless request for me to stay.
That same part of me wanted him to.
But he doesn’t move to stop me so I leave his room and enter my own with a mix of emotions I can’t place. A sickening pit in my stomach that keeps me awake until the sun peeks through the curtains of my room. It’s a new day. But I feel like something changed. Like the rest of my time here will be different.
Chapter Twenty
Mara-Present
Us-James Bay
“So I hear you had quite an adventure,” Dylan greets me when he enters the kitchen for breakfast. It’s that moment that Jason comes in from the garage gym.
With my back to him, I don’t have to make awkward eye contact. I can’t believe I basically asked him “was it good for you?” last night. I sound like an insecure virgin.
Well, half of that is true.
After I put the English muffin breakfast sandwiches on the table, we all take a seat in our usual spots.
It’s such a mundane and ordinary morning considering what occurred less than twenty-four hours ago.
“How are you feeling today?” Dylan asks me.
“Tired,” I answer truthfully. “I feel like I haven’t slept in a week and ran marathons the whole time. But other than that, nothing wrong.”
Dylan scoffs, “Pft. Sounds kinda harsh. You should relax today and let your body recover.”
“No, it’s ok. I want to help. I’ll go feed the animals,” I start to rise but Jason’s motions catch my eye.
He pats his chest and makes a swiping motion as of to saydone.
Looking from him to the barn through the window, I ask, “You alreadyfed them?”
He nods.
That’s an uncharacteristically nice gesture.
I wonder if he woke up earlier than me to do the chores and workout on purpose, or if he never went back to sleep after I left.
The feeling of his body wrapped around mine is tattooed on my skin. Not because it was arousing but because of the gentle touches and intimate way he held me. It seemed like something a boyfriend and girlfriend might do. But that might be taking it a little too far.
It didn’t occur to me until I went back to my room that I’ve never been held like that before. Neither of my exes would hold me after sex. I’ve never had a man in my life who did things for me just to make me happy. My father gave me attention and presents because it was expected of him. My exes gave me flowers and chocolates when they fucked up and wanted to win my good graces back. I’ve never had a man who cooked for me just because, or held me without the expectation of more.
While I should be thrilled I experienced that with Jason, even if it was under odd circumstances, it makes me jealous. I feel cheated out of those experiences with the men who weresupposedto give me that kind of unconditional affection.
“Thank you,” I tell Jason. Then I scoop up our plates and begin washing them.
There’s nothing dire that has to be done today. Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow. And my body does feel like it needs more rest. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take today off and read for a while. Maybe I can do some chores in the afternoon.
That was my plan, anyway. But I must have fallen asleep while reading. I woke with a start when a heavy weight shifted the couch at my feet, startling me out of my slumber.
Jason sits at the end of the couch where my body stretched in my sleep. One arm leaning on my bent legs, the other hand holds the book I was reading.Wuthering Heights.I’ve noticed the collection of books in his library tend to lean more toward the classics.
I read a lot of smut before, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Besides, reading classic literature without the expectation of writing papers and giving PowerPoint presentations in class makes them far more enjoyable.
