I tug Mara closer to me, relieved when she lets out a soft sigh and buries her face into my chest even more.
She’s alive. She’s fine.
But me? I’ve always been bitter. I’ve always been different, angry, resentful for the cards I was dealt. The root of my problems was only amplified by time and experience. That can’t be what she wants.
But is she what I want?
Chapter Nineteen
Mara-Present
I Got You-the White Buffalo
I was falling.
It was cold.
So cold.
And that was all I could remember. The cold was so all-consuming that it’s all my body could register. Dark, cold, wet, and devoid of life. That’s what I felt until the warmth spread from my center to my extremities.
I become vaguely aware of the solid body beside me and the warm scent of him surrounding me. It took a moment to realize the steadiness I felt was from arms holding me so close so I didn’t slip away again.
Blinking once, my memories of the ice cracking under my weight and plummeting into the frozen pond rush back like a tidal wave. I don’t know what happened after that but I’m somewhere warm now, so either I’m dead…
Or I’m safe.
And there’s only one logical explanation for that.
Hesaved me. He saved me? I thought he hated me. But maybe not as much as I thought if he was willing to risk his own safety for my life.
Another blink and the blurry orange-red glow of the room solidifies a bit more so I can make out the shadowed contours of the man holding me.
Thenakedman holding me.
That doesn’t turn me on simply because he’s naked, but because I can onlyassume he was trying to share his body heat and raise my own.
There’s something so intimate about it. Dare I say…romantic. Neither one of my exes ever cuddled me unless I asked for it. And even then I would lay on Bryce’s chest while he scrolled Instagram on his phone. I always had this feeling that my relationships were one sided without fully acknowledging them.
Until I did. And it broke me how used I was.
It doesn’t take a doctorate to realize that my insecurities with Jason stem from my past experiences. The hurt I felt had little to do with him and more to do with unresolved feelings.
I never got the closure I needed. I never got to tell either of them how emotionally abusive they were, how much their actions hurt me. Not that they would care. But I was too weak to speak up and say anything besides “you’re a piece of shit.” In hindsight, that really didn’t pack the punch I wanted it to.
Then there’s Jason.
Jason, who pulled me out of my car on the side of the road in a snow storm.
Jason, who saved me from a frozen death.
Jason, who has made it very clear I’m just a good fuck, yet he’s still holding me in such a possessive manner that I can physically feel his concern for my life. I don’t know if he has some sense of duty over me or something. Should I be grateful or suspicious that he keeps saving my life?
I open my eyes fully and try to tilt my head so I can see Jason. But he moves his strong hand to the back of my head and holds me in place. I don’t know if he’s awake or subconsciously tucking me into him. But I comply.
The scratchy length of his beard rubs against my smooth hair. My bare breasts press against his hard pecs and every inch beneath that is in contact with the other. Flat palms against my back. His stomach against mine. My legs layered with his. His erection is stiff between us.
Yet…he isn’t acting on it. He’s just holding me to him and keeping me as warm as possible. I finally realize we aren’t in the bed but laying on a pile of blankets on the floor, bundled in quilts beside the fireplace I didn’t realize was in his room. I noticed the house had two chimneys outside but never asked where the other fireplace was. Here’s my answer.
