“Maybe, but mostly just drunk.” He counters. I can’t argue with him there.
Dylan twirls Mara under his arm so she spins clumsily into me. I catch her in my arms to steady her but she just leans against me. This feels way too intimate for comfort.
“Heyyy,” he draws out the word with a gleam in his eye. “I have an idea. Have you ever smoked pot?” He asks Mara.
Miss goody-two-shoes? I’d be shocked.
“I ate a brownie on accident, one time,” she admits with a shrug of her shoulders.
Figures.
“Then I think it’s time we properly corrupt you.”
Mara lifts her gaze over her shoulder to me as if to sayyou’ve already corrupted me enough.I return it with a blank stare. She hasn’t even begun to pry open the dark recesses of my brain.
Mara agrees. So we file out to the back porch furniture wrapped in thick coats and blankets. Mara sits on the bench beside me which isn’t ideal. So I stand and take the rocking chair instead. I need to make it clear we aren’t a couple. Just because we fuck doesn’t mean we’re a couple or something. I still despise her.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Though her warmth would have been appreciated because it’s fucking freezing out.
Disappointment marks her face as Dylan joins her on the bench, none the wiser to the hard line I just drew. He dug the box of materials out of the pantry and starts rolling a joint from the flower we keep sealed in a mason jar with an airtight lid.
“So you’ve never smoked anything before?” He clarifies with her. She nods to confirm his suspicions.
He begins to instruct her while grinding the flower and packing it into the roller. “Alright. Well here’s a little run down. Common smoking circle etiquette is puff, puff, pass. Take two hits then pass it to the next person. Curl your lips in so you don’t get the tip too moist. Suck in air like you’re sucking dick and hold the smoke in your cheeks to cool it off before inhaling it in. Then blow it out like you’re—”
“Blowing a guy?” She supplies for him.
“See, I knew you’d pick it up quickly.” Mara and I both roll our eyes at that.
Dylan starts the joint by lighting the end and inhaling to draw the burn from top to bottom at a leisurely pace. After his comparisons, I can’t help but think that he’s actually sucking on that joint like a dick and I could have gone my whole life without that fucking image in my head.
Jackass.
He demonstrates twice before handing the joint off to Mara. She pulls one arm out from under the blanket before taking the joint and eyeing it like a snake preparing to bite her.
Hesitantly, she follows Dylan’s instructions by curling her lips under her teeth so she doesn’t lip it. The cherry glows bright orange as she inhales. And just like every first time smoker, she coughs out the smoke instead of steadily exhaling.
Rookie.
Mara laughs and coughs at the same time, holding a fist up to her mouth in the pointless socially acceptable gesture everyone does when they cough. Doesn’t matter it does nothing to stop the coughing or to prevent the spreadof germs. People are mindless rule followers when it comes to shit like that. Always doing what the herd is doing.
I get the joint next. It’s been a while since I partook in this form of debauchery. As soon as the bitter smoke hits my lungs, I feel the instant calm and loss of tension. Another puff and I relax even more.
“So,” Dylan breaks the silence, “who’s going to fess-up first?”
Mara and I look from Dylan to each other and back again, confused by whatever the fuck he’s talking about. He already knows we’re sleeping together. I mean, we haven’t confirmed it, but how can he not know?
“What’s going on between you two?” Dylan waved a finger from Mara to me and back again. “We don’t have Facebook to make things official, up here.”
Great.Leave it to Dylan to make an uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable.
“We’re not in a relationship,” Mara explains on our behalf. Then she lifts heavy eyes to me as if it’s painful to look at me. “We’re just fucking. No need to make it a bigger deal than it is.”
Well, at least she doesn’t want more than I can give her.
Maybe if I was the kind of guy who wanted a relationship, the kind of guy who could love a woman. Maybe I could give her more. There was a time I wanted to give her more and I wanted more for myself. But those days have long since passed. I’m not the same boy I was in high school. I don’t think I’ll ever find that piece of myself again.
