“No, he is keeping his distance,” I said, trying to keep my tone level and disinterested.
“As a guard should, I suppose,” she mused.
“Kol isn’t, though,” I hedged, feeling my annoyance rise. Why was he?
“Kol is Nyx’s brother. He is more than just a guard.”
“I suppose, but given the circumstances, isn’t it unsettling that one of our guards is acting strange?”
“Strange how?”
I questioned the sense in voicing it to her. But she was my twin, and normally, we didn’t have secrets. “He was staring at me during the reception. Then he vanished during the attack.”
Nova gasped. “You think he had something to do with the attack?”
“No, nothing like that.” I wasn’t sure how I was certain, but I was. I had no suspicions of him being connected with theundead. “But he was staring at me intently through the whole reception, and since then, seems to have avoided me completely. It doesn’t make any sense.”
Nova looks thoughtful. “Are you sure he was looking at you and not just the new surroundings and fae?”
“I’m certain. I could not only feel his eyes on me the whole time, but I felt drawn to him in a way that I have never experienced before. Then for him to disappear during the banquet and then practically run away when I tried to introduce myself later… It’s just unsettling, that’s all.”
“Hmm,” was all Nova had to say.
I knew I should not have said anything. I just couldn’t make peace with it. I wanted to find out what was going on with him, and I couldn’t explain it to myself, never mind her. It just felt like it was going to eat me up if I didn’t do something about it.
“I think I should try and find him. Make proper introductions and smooth things over before we have to spend weeks all cooped up together, don’t you?”
Nova’s mouth opened and closed like she warred with her thoughts. “I guess…”
“Say what you’re thinking,” I demanded, beginning to pace.
“I’m not sure why it matters to you. He’s just a guard. But if it feels important, then you should.”
“It matters because guards are fae too,” I grumbled. Not sure why I chose that particular hill to die on. Things were getting worse by the minute. This was spiraling, and I needed to get control.
“Of course they are,” she placated, seemingly stunned by my outburst. “Like you say, we are all going to be forced to endure each other’s company for a while, so clearing the air is good, I think.”
“I just don’t want things to be awkward. I have enough to worry about with this move.”
“Indeed.” She tried touching my arm in comfort, but I couldn’t stop my pacing.
“I think I’m going to go and find him now, before we turn in.” I needed to do this, or I would never rest. I glanced at Nova for reassurance, but she was looking at me like I was a caged beast about to be let out.
“Okay, if it will help you rest…”
I nodded, then, before I could change my mind, headed for the door.
“Still avoiding me then?”I asked, or stated…maybe accused? Gods, I didn’t know where my head was. Why did I say that? I was a mess of irrational feelings. It was more than just making introductions, I rationalized. It was a lot to put our lives in the hands of this small group and trust that they would keep us safe, especially now that we knew that we were targets. So I told myself I wanted to make sure that he would be accompanying us back, you know, for numbers’ sake.
“I’m not avoiding you,” he replied with lazy disinterest. Though I could sense it was feigned somehow.
“No?”
“Why would I be?” He frowned.
This was not going well. I shook my head as if to somehow reset this conversation. “Forgive me, I just wanted to meet our guards properly. I’m Caly, it’s Faolan, isn’t it?” I held out my hand. He looked at my hand and then back up into my eyes. I felt a physical reaction to his intense gaze, the likes of which I’d never known. It was as if my soul was more settled when he looked at me. Not good. I was to be wed, regardless of how I felt.I couldn’t complicate that by feeling drawn to one of the guards charged with delivering me.
When he didn’t take my hand after an awkward pause, I withdrew it shakily. Perfect.
