Kol let out a guttural growl, and his figure rippled before his clothing split at the seams. He morphed into a huge, deep jade dragon and roared his fury and frustration into the hall.
ELEVEN
FAOLAN
Maybe escaping like a coward wasn’t the best way to have handled things with Nyx, but I knew in my bones that if I looked her in the eyes again, I’d never be able to leave. I’d never felt that way about another breathing soul before that moment. If it were left to—fester—I couldn’t even let my mind go to such places.
It was hopeless. Even if I was willing to stay and be tied down with a ryder and beholden to the King's futile dragon mill, I’d heard enough about the heir in my time out of Kerani to know his reputation for pleasure and cruelty. He used the entire Twelve Kingdoms as his personal playground and saw every fae under the crown as his to direct to his bidding. I’d be dead before anyone even tried to explain to him the benefit of his wife being my ryder. The term “doesn’t play well with others” would be a fucking understatement. He’d probably arrange for my ‘suicide’ or worse, for me to go to the front lines without a ryder as fodder for those creatures.
It was those thoughts that kept my wings beating across the Middle Sea and kept me from turning around. The further I got, the more invisible strings tied to parts of me I hadn’t even realized existed, pulled me back towards the Light Kingdom.
I hated that Nyx was right about the tie. And I hated that the Goddess tried to trap me with this fate. Was life a cruel joke of moving from one prison to another? Were we doomed to be trapped in cage after cage, escaping one only to release ourselves into another?
I didn’t do well with introspection. I liked to live in the moment and be free to go where my whims took me. Where I was best needed. Because this wasn’t just about avoiding duty to another fae’s fight, it was about knowing where I could make the most difference to those who suffered under these autocrats. Which was not under the thumb of the King. There was work to be done on the outside. Access to the underground that could only be obtained from the fringes. Nyx knew it too. He had Luka out there for him before, and now even he was nailed down. He seemed happy about it, the fool, but he was a ryder now. They fell like flies in that city, and I wanted to be far from the danger of joining them.
I didn’t know where I’d end up as I flew straight out across the Middle Sea. I knew I could make land in any direction, and I was fit despite little flying since leaving Kerani to mask my identity, but I could not ignore the pull to go back long enough to feel a call to any destination. Would it always be this way? Was Nyx right? Was it too late to escape now that it had started? I hoped not, because it was already torture, like an itch I couldn’t reach.
The feeling of a cord, running from the center of me back to her, growing tighter and tighter, would not abate…and then it tugged. Sharply.
I nearly dropped out of the sky.
My blood turned to ice.
She was in danger.I knew it in my soul.
My chest burned with it, as if she was now reeling in the cord that anchored me to her. Dragging me back towards the Light kingdom.
I kept flying. She was not my problem. We were strangers, not flyer and ryder. Nyx was there. He and Zaria would take care of her. Kol would help. Two dragons could handle whatever issue was alerting me. Clinging to me like an uninvited cargo. Dragging me down, physically.
I looked down and realized I’d lost altitude. The sea was rough beneath me, churning like my thoughts, which was strange as our voyage over had been smooth. When I blinked, the sun was reflected across a calm sea, and my reflection raced across the surface. I was seeing things. My turmoil was manifesting in visions—this was bad.
I had to pull myself out of it if I was going to get free from this at any point. This was just a mistake I was fixing before it became a real problem. I was just experiencing the initial response to the severing, perhaps that was all that tug was, the threads holding us together coming apart. It would get easier with time. The Goddess got this one wrong. Nyx was wrong, too.
I fought down any thoughts to the contrary. I glanced down, catching sight of my rippled reflection in the water and even he seemed to look back at me with Nyx’s disapproval. I blinked it away and climbed higher to rid myself of all judgment.
But I couldn’t out fly the doubt. What if something was really wrong? What if they couldn’t handle it and she was in real danger? What if I was needed too?
No! I couldn’t get involved. I shook my head violently. If I did, I would never be free.
I’d be trapped again like I was in Kerani.
I cannot let that be my fate.I shut all thought down. Breathed deep. Emptied my head and flew on, fighting the pull.
Then the fear took hold. What if this was the reason for the call now? Why would I be called after being free for months if this was something they could handle without me?
Could the Goddess have foreseen trouble and set me on a path to be where I was needed?
The strings between us were suddenly tight, unbearably so. I nearly couldn’t breathe with the way they wrapped around my chest, trying to drag me back towards Light.Images flooded my mind before I could shut them down. Awful scenes of destruction and bloodshed. Death’s hand reaching for her, and closing it’s hand around her. Death had her in it’s grip and it might suck me into its bowels with her.
I knew in my bones if I kept flying, she would die, and I’d lose myself. I could already taste the madness that would swallow me if I had to live on without her. Like I could see a vision of the future, but it wasn’t foresight. It was my magic pulling me back towards her while there was still hope.
I ground my teeth, fighting my fate. Fighting the Goddess.Fighting myself.
But I was powerless to win this battle on so many fronts, and my gut turned me around.
My wing tip cut through the water’s surface as I banked hard and then climbed, fighting the air around me to find the fastest way back. It was the stupidest move I could make, but I had no choice.
I would go back and make sure she was safe and then I could leave. Hell, I could even get her back to the First Kingdom and to her betrothed, and then she would remain safely in the palace for the rest of her days. I made every kind of bargain with myself as I flew harder than I’d ever flown. I just needed to make sure she was okay.
