“And does that come with knowing the mind of the King or his son?”
“I know what the King needs and how he prioritizes. So I can assure you, your bond with Calytrix will come before any royal protocol. The prince will be told to accept it. There is no other outcome.”
“Bullshit, there is no way. He wouldn’t put a Queen out on the front in a war.”
“He damn well would because he knows that any fae matched with their dragon in battle has more magic than he could possibly find anywhere else in the realm.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe any of this.” I was pacing then, feeling unhinged from the madness of it all. “The Goddess you all want me to trust has clearly fucking lost a grip on Her senses. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I thought I had it all figured out.”
“Can you believe the way he’s speaking?!” Nyx growled, a whisper of smoke floating out of his nose to punctuate his rage.
“Who are you even talking to?”I stopped pacing and eyed him.
“The Goddess.” Nyx scoffs.
“Oh, quit with that! You can’t guilt me into this by trying to conspire with someone who has never once answered back to anyone who has called on Her. I’m no youngling. I work on facts, and the fact is, I’m dead if I set foot back in the First, claiming its future Queen as my ryder. And if I’m not dead, then I will, without any doubt, wish I was.”
Nyx seemed to grow in stature as I spoke. A physical challenge, as his words were not netting him results.
I squared my shoulders. He may be able to intimidate others with the dragon act, but he has a match in mine. “I don’t care who you are,” I told him carefully, so he heard me loud and clear. “I owe no allegiance to you or anyone else. I am not staying to fight a war I have no stake in or be killed for something I had no control over. This is not my war, nor my King.”
“The call to your ryder won’t go away. You can’t outrun it,”he warned.
“I can damn well try.” I turned and ran, jumping off the edge of the balcony, swan diving as I let my dragon fly.
TEN
CALYTRIX
The doors to the banquet hall were drawn open for us, and we made our entrance. I was uneasy. I had been all day, and not for the logical reasons either. Sure, we were setting off to a new and unknown future, and we should have been feeling all kinds of emotions, but this was different. I felt torn, split apart. And it had nothing to do with leaving my home.
I was still here, and I already felt like part of myself was missing. I wanted to run away, but not like I did before. Not to escape my fate, that had no bearing on this feeling. This was almost tangible—it felt like something was pulling me away, though to what, I didn’t know.
Nova had been chatting away incessantly as we readied ourselves, but I could not join in, and I had taken comfort in her filling the silence while my mind was such a mix of unidentifiable feelings. I’d managed to pull myself together for this event, though the feeling never let up, but once we left our quarters, I forced my focus on the dinner. We strode into the room, arms linked to show solidarity, with our heads held high, and watched as our father turned and was forced to swallow his disapproval in front of our guests.
He was furious that we had defied him and shunned the monstrosities he’d ordered for us to wear. I was sure he’d had no part in the selections personally, nor did he know what the chosen gowns had looked like, but he would know these were not them. We had picked far more form-fitting gowns in sheer fabrics. Not the modest lines he would have authorized for such an event, instead, they were cut low in the neck and high in the slits.
It was not a move of disrespect against our father, nor our kingdom. Simply a matter of claiming our autonomy in the only way we could without threatening the stability of a fragile treaty. In fact, our love for Light was on full display, with the rays of the sun delicately beaded across the diaphanous fabrics. Our gowns were each shades of gold and bronze. Not identical, instead a pair. We were an unbreakable duo, stronger together, and we wanted everyone to see it. To know that once we were separated from our home, we would not be weakened, we had each other.
Father’s hard stare held as we approached, but he was forced to hide his irritation and greet us for the benefit of the watching crowd.
“Daughters, you look radiant,” he said through gritted teeth.
We dipped into short curtseys and then were saved from further tension by the tapping of silver on glass. We were guided to our seats, while Father had to remain to greet all of his dignitaries. As expected, Father’s chair was at the head of the banquet table, and Nova and I were seated at either side of him, facing each other. Alaric was seated beside Nova, and the General of the First Kingdom slid into the seat beside him, ensuring his security, I supposed. His mate claimed the seat to the opposite side of the table, which left the seat beside me available.
I tensed, anticipating the guard who had caught my eye to fill it. I waited, then scanned the room. Guests were still filingin and taking their assigned seats, but I didn’t see either guard anywhere. Then, from behind me, I felt a presence, and I looked up to see the guard who I believed to be the general’s twin slip into the empty seat beside me.
Disappointment sank like a stone in the pit of my stomach.
So where was the other guard? No seat was saved for him as the seats quickly filled up along the long table.
He wasn’t coming.
I was disappointed. No, that was a lie to myself. I felt mournful, and I wasn’t even sure why. He was merely a guard to the prince. I should not have noticed him, and he definitely should not have noticed me. Guards were supposed to look through us and only exist to us should danger present itself. So why had he kept staring at me like he did? I didn’t like the question sitting in my brain with no way of answering it.
I was relying on seeing him again this evening to get some measure of him and what he was about. Which was ridiculous, it had to be just first impressions that had him looking my way. What did I think? That he would sit at dinner staring at me in front of the rest of his party? That would never happen. It would be a potential death sentence for him to disrespect the princes in such a way.
I had to be more realistic. Maybe I would find out more on the voyage? He surely would be voyaging back with us. I assumed he had simply returned to the ship to wait for our departure. Hoped, a small voice in my head provided. I hoped he was back at the ship. Seraphic save me, I could not have thoughts like that.
