“I can do anything I want,” he laughed. “The treaty exists to bring Light to heel and remind them of their place. I won’t give them an inch to consider rebellion again, nor will I swallow her disrespect and allow any other kingdom to get the wrong idea.”
“It’s not disrespect. She cannot help who she is called to. The Goddess made her a ryder.”
“I will not allow what is mine to be tainted by another male.” He slammed a hand down on the table and stood.
“She’s not property. You cannot treat her as such. I believed you better than this. I’ve always had your back, but I cannotstand aside and watch you do this.” My chest heaved with emotion. I’ve never gone against him, but I had to. “Father gave an order.”
His entire face changed, like he’d donned a mask. He smoothed a hand down his tunic. “You do not understand the pressure, brother mine, nor the things I shield you from. Father will understand when I explain it to him. You need not trouble yourself with it.”
I scoffed. “I don’t need to be shielded or protected. I need you to be the King you promised me you would be.”
“You do need to be protected. There is darkness that has to be embraced and used to do this duty successfully. You have no idea what it takes to be king.”
“Neither do you. We owe our subjects kindness and empathy. We hold their safety and lives in our hands.”
“You think I don’t know this? I am protecting them. Our father is protecting them. Something you know nothing about.”
“I think I know a lot more about kindness than you do. Look how you are treating your own future wife.”
“What I do to deal with the horrors in my mind are none of your fucking concern. I am your future King, and your duty is to me.” He barely kept himself from yelling.
“You’re going to be a monster,” I said more to myself than to him.
He raised a brow at me. “All kings are monsters. We have to be to do what’s best for the Kingdom when we know there will be unimaginable consequences.”
“I don’t believe that. I don’t believe all kings have to be monsters.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince, myself or him. What I really wanted was for him to be the friend he used to be. The male I used to know. But with every word, I realized that was impossible.
“Because you never had to put yourself in my shoes. You never had to be the heir. You got to be the spare. The one without pressure. You will never know what it’s like to be me.” He picked up the crystal tumbler off the desk and took a sip, so assured in his declaration.
Maybe I’d never known him after all…or maybe I’d lied to myself all this time, believing him to have the same morals as me.
“I may never understand the pressure you’re under, but you still have a duty to our people.”
“I understand my duty more than you do. I cannot believe you’re taking the side of a dragon over your brother.”
“Because he is here to fight for us. Bound by law. He has no more choice who he was born to than you or I.”
“Some sacrifices have to be made for the good of all our kingdoms. The faster you learn that, the better off you will be.” His lips curled like this whole thing amused him. “He’s already gone. The matter is settled.”
“What does that mean?” I asked. “I know Nyx and Jaxus were looking for him…”
“I dealt with the problem before it was even brought to Father’s attention.”
“You killed him?” I gasped.
“What fun would that be? No, I need to know what really happened between them first to see how deep her betrayal goes.”
“What have you done?”
“Only what needs to be done. When I’ve wrung the truth out of him, then I will give him a quick ending. It’s really his choice how quickly he meets the Goddess. Only he can prevent his own suffering.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “Please don’t fight me on this. We will need each other in the years to come. I want to believe I can trust you. You’re the only one I’ve ever trusted.” I looked into his pale blue eyes. Horror struck me as I saw myfuture in them. Every act of his I went along with would make me more and more like him.
Every transgression I swallowed or ignored would taint me a little more, and one day, I’d wake up worse than him. Worse because I’d allowed it, supported it even.
I couldn’t allow that future to come to fruition.
I softened and pressed my forehead to his. “I’m sorry, Arkyn.”
“For what, my love?” he whispered, but realization quickly dawned on his features as my blade pierced his ribs.
