When I spotted theorange glow of a fire in the distance I almost cried in relief.Tovis had been carrying Jiith ever since we’d started walking again, hours ago.The syto was slipping in and out of consciousness and between the tense silence between Tovis and I, my sore body and my worries that Jiith would up and die at any minute, I’d been pushed to my limits.
It didn’t even feel fair to have a private pity party, because at least half of the terrible situation was my fault.Tovis was stuck carrying a half dead syto because of me, things were awkward and uncomfortable because of me.
To top it all off, Sal had peed on me an hour ago, and percer urine wasfoul.I was tired, sweaty, my legs were locking up, and I stank so bad my eyes were watering.
“Is that it?”I panted, forcing myself to lift one foot in front of the other in a shuffling trudge that took actual mental effort to perform.If an army of sytos came out of nowhere right now, I couldn’t even attempt to run.
“It is.”I could hear the relief in Tovis’ voice and he picked up his pace, Jiith’s limp body swaying with his movements.
Ten minutes later, loud male voices sounded an alarm, and we were met by a dozen huge, red turochs wielding axes and machetes.The sight of so many massive, threatening aliens stopped me in my tracks, and even when their faces broke into grins when they spotted Tovis, I couldn’t force my feet to move one inch farther.
This was it; I’d hit my wall.Sal let out a honking complaint and squirmed against my chest and I fumbled him out of the carrier I’d fashioned before he peed on me again.Tovis strode toward the turochs, calling out greetings and passing Jiith off to one of the big red guys.
I stood there, trapped by my exhausted body and the overwhelming sight of somanyaliens.Sal honked again and I held him away from me just in time to miss another batch of pee.
Tovis must have noticed I was lagging because he turned around and spotted me standing there like a statue, holding a wriggling, dripping baby percer a foot from my chest.He strode back to me, his expression filled with worry.
“Jessa?”
I looked up at him but couldn’t seem to focus on his face as he neared me.The world was fuzzing around the edges and a big, ugly bubble of something was filling my throat.I didn’t know if I was going to pass out, throw up or cry.
“I-I can’t move,” I said, my voice sounding wobbly and weak to my own ears.
Tovis sighed, the hard set of his features fracturing just before he scooped me up and cradled my gross, pee covered body to his chest.
“It’s alright, we’re safe,” he whispered into my sweaty hair.I gulped in air, and started shaking, my vision blurring with tears as I fumbled to hold onto Sal.
“I’m fine,” I lied.“I don’t know what's wrong with me.”And then I burst into tears.
24 Tovis
Icarried Jessa throughcamp, ignoring the curious eyes that followed us.It had been days since I left without saying exactly where I was going, and I showed up with a human female and a half dead syto.There would be questions, meetings with Adak.All important, and all of it could wait until morning.
My exhausted mate was overwhelmed, weeping silently into my chest.Her tears covered my skin and made me itch with regret.She’d implied that I only wanted a female, not her, and I’d left her to struggle in silence for miles.
I was ashamed of myself.
