“I know this comes as a shock to you all, but I think it’s time. It’s time for the people of Messalina to know that their king and the royal family are still here. Nora’s death destroyed us, but the people need to see healing. I hadn’t realized the extent of this until Bellamy came into my life and forced me to examine on a deeper level how I was doing things. It does not make me comfortable, and I will continue to take every precaution I can with my family, but I don’t want my people to always be holding their breath, waiting for the next tragedy to strike us down. Life goes on, something I had forgotten, and I think a Christmas ball is a step in that direction.”
“I love it,” the press secretary for Messalina exclaims, glancing around the room at all the smiling faces and nodding heads. “I think this is a fabulous idea. It will reinvigorate the nation. Will press be allowed in?”
“On a very limited basis. Later today I have a meeting with my staff and the event coordinator about the logistics.”
“Are we able to announce your new love interest?” she continues.
“No. Not yet. That is for me to do when I deem the time is right.”
“Your Majesty, this is truly exciting news. That you’re in love and that you’re having a ball. Might I offer you congratulations on both, sir?”
“Thank you,” I say to Samil’s second-in-command, which I’m positive will also drive him up the wall. But it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. He can’t hurt me, and he can’tcome after me. I am king and he is an elected official. Now that he knows of my relationship with Bellamy, something I intend to make public at the ball as I did in here, there is nothing he can say or do. He won’t risk yet another public humiliation.
He has too much at stake now.
Back then, he was simply a low-level attorney, getting passed over for promotions. Now he’s a public figure, and that changes everything. The man is nothing without his pretenses and appearances.
The meeting continues, the energy in the room palpable. Samil is quiet, keeping his mouth shut, stewing in his own miserable juices. Who cares? My joy cannot be contained. It’s a first for me, no doubt, but last night when we told the children, it felt as if all the broken and misplaced pieces of my life finally came together.
And I won’t allow anything to break them apart again.
The buildupto the ball has been nonstop. The children are ebullient, especially as the palace is filled with towering Christmas trees decorated from head to toe in ornaments and sparkling lights. Decorations are hung, and the air smells of pine and snow. Emily, Margarite, Javier, and the event coordinators haven’t stopped to take a breath. I forgot how much work goes into these things.
More so this year, because security is going to be second to none.
I surprised Bellamy and the girls with a famous gown designer and told them to pick out anything they wanted. Bellamy was a bit uneasy with that. She hasn’t quite gotten the hang of the fact that she’s the king’s girlfriend and that I plan to spoil her relentlessly for the rest of her life. She’s finally takento sleeping in my bed with me, something I can’t seem to get enough of.
Nora and I rarely shared a bed. She had her own suite in whatever palace we were living in. She never liked this one. It was too remote and formal, and maybe that’s why I picked it for us to live in after she died. Made it easier somehow. I wish she could see our children now. She would have taken such joy in how they’ve grown. I believe it would also please her to know the woman I intend to make my next queen loves the children as much as I do and she did.
Only aside from caring for the children and smiling through all the excitement of the ball preparations, Bellamy’s struggling. She’s driven to Tourin several times to see her father, his memory of her failing. It only adds to the pressure of coming out in a public way about our relationship. It’s eating at her. All of it.
I’ve been distracted, and so has she. Our hours are long, and the time we’ve had alone has been limited.
Which is why when I wake at dawn to find my bed cold and empty and find her sitting by the fire in her library tucked under a blanket and lost in the flames with an open book on her lap that she’s not reading, I know something has to change. She’s not good at relying on others. She’s horrible at asking for help. Her world no longer solely rests on her shoulders, and if I have to tell her that a hundred times a day, I will.
I take a seat next to her on the sofa, startling her. She hadn’t even heard me come in. A forced smile curls her lips, but it doesn’t touch the blue of her eyes, which have lost some of their sparkle.
I take her hand in mine. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
She blinks at my serious tone. “Oh? Is everything all right?”
“No,” I tell her simply. “It’s not. We’re new at this, and with that comes a lot of learning curves we’re going to have to weaveour way through. I have no doubt we can, especially when we communicate with each other. Except you haven’t been communicating with me.”
Her chin drops and her gaze shifts back to the fire. “What do you want me to say? I’m sad and I don’t like being sad. It’s not who I am, but right now, I don’t know how to change it.”
“I know. But you don’t have to feel this way and hold it in your heart for only you to bear.”
She nods, swallowing thickly, but she doesn’t say anything else.
“I was thinking that after the ball, when things settle down a bit, we could make arrangements to have your father move in with us.”
Her head whips over, her eyes wide.
I nearly laugh. “Don’t give me that look. I mentioned this before.”
“I know, but?—”
I shake my head, cutting her off. “Bellamy, you’re mine. I can’t have you be sad. I can’t have you stressed or upset, tearing yourself in two. If he’s here, he’ll have the best care there is. If he’s here, you’ll see him every day. My children never met their grandfather, and their grandmother hardly ever sees them. It might be good for your father to be around children. Around a family. This is your home, baby, and it can be his, too.”
